Another Way
by iamtryN
Summary: If there had been another way to get rid of the devil other than the pit jump (5.22), what would it have been and would it have worked? Well, let's find out, shall we?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Not mine… So sad… **I don't even own the story idea. That was given to me by Hotshow! I got to play with and bounce it around the sandbox and off the heads of the blot bunnies but again, applause goes to Hotshow. Who by the way has the patience of a saint. She has listened, encouraged and sympathized through the whole loss of family members, migraine monsters and the depression bug… she gave me this before my move and before the silence.

**Note#1: **Oddly enough this posting feels like the very first posting I ever did. I haven't posted anything in so long that it's like starting over. I want to thank everyone for their patience. My life was overwhelming for awhile. All the loss was a little much. But I am here and writing again. So smiles to ya'll! Thank you for all the continued reviews! I love them all and I'm sorry for not replying to each and everyone. It's no less appreciated! Promise, promise.

Chapter 1

It had been hours since Dean had listened to Bobby. The question he had posed about being afraid to lose his brother… _Duh, fuck yeah he was_. His _little _brother. He'd carried the trouble magnet around since he was four. Trying to be mommy, brother and everything else he'd ever missed out on having. He'd even tried to be Sam's normal. And now Bobby and Sammy _both_ wanted him to just walk away. Live an apple pie life… _a normal life_. Let Sam jump in the pit with Lucifer. _He just couldn't. _Leaving his brother in hell…_ uh, yeah. Not happening. _Letting him go there in the first place…_ nope. Been there… done that and no way he was he letting Sammy. _He wouldn't give up on his brother. _Not again_.

He found Sam drinking a beer, his ass parked on the impala. He reached down and pulled his own beer from the cooler, popped the cap and took a swig. He watched Sam watch him and slowly swallowed his drink as he took his free hand he rubbed it across his mouth (_stalling, but whatever_) before he cleared his throat and said, "Look, Sam… I know you're a grown man."

Sam raised an eyebrow and the beer that had been headed for his mouth stopped and reversed direction to rest on his leg as he stared at Dean.

"We both have fucked things up in the past." Dean stopped and held a hand up to stop an interruption as he continued, "Just wait a minute. Let me finish." He watched Sam until he gave him a slight nod and reclined back once again against the impala's back glass before he plunged onward. "But you're still my little brother. I love you more than anything…" He gave a slight grin as he pointed with his beer at the impala, "_even her_."

Sam gave a small chuckle but other than that kept quiet. Dean hardly ever opened up and when he did, _well he wanted to hear it_. This very well might be his last chance to hear his brother give him one of his rare heart to hearts.

"I know you think this is the only way to set things right." Dean leaned back against the impala and studied Sam over his shoulder.

Sam gave a slight shrug in response and lifted his beer once again to his lips as he waited for Dean to organize his thoughts in his head and get them said.

"But maybe there's another way." Dean said cryptically and took a slow haul off his beer, finishing it he tossed it across the yard, shattering it against a neighboring car. Leaning down he picked up another and opened it.

"You got another plan?" Sam finally asked softly.

"No…" Dean admitted before he said, "Not yet. But Sammy you owe me a chance."

"A chance?" Sam echoed as he flung his empty bottle the same direction Dean had and then leaned over the side for another.

Dean leaned down and picked a beer to hand it to his brother. He kept his hand on it a second longer after Sam latched onto the neck of the bottle. Sam looked at Dean startled. Dean stated quietly as he let go and relinquished the beer to his brother, "A chance to find another way."

Sam took the bottle and looked away as he opened it and took a long pull from it. Honestly, he was afraid if he waited he might just chicken out.

"Look. I don't ask you for much. But I'm asking you for this." Dean informed him, his voice hitching slightly as he tried for slow and steady. _Not shaky and whiney_.

"Dean. You've grown to…" Sam paused, shifting his position slightly before he continued, "_you don't need me anymore_." He stared at his bottle of beer like it was a genie in a bottle. Answers and all. The truth of it all is he didn't want to see the confirmation he knew was already there in Dean's eyes. Dean _didn't_ need him, _not anymore._

Dean's beer bottle dropped unnoticed to the ground as he grabbed Sam by his shirt front and hauled him off the car as he snarled, "You walked out on me… not the other way around." He moved his head from side to side trying to get in Sam's line of sight.

Sam looked ashamed before he mumbled, "Yeah, but you threw us away. You…" Sam stopped and pulled away rolling away over the trunk to the other side of the car.

"What?" Dean snapped confused. "I what?" He repeated, spreading his arms wide.

Sam looked pointedly at Dean's chest where the amulet used to rest.

Dean looked down as one hand went immediately to his chest and the other ran through his hair as he sighed. When he looked back up a tear ran down his cheek as he murmured, "I regret that."

Sam tilted his head to the side as he said, "Dean… I will fix this and then you can for once have a normal life. Don't you think it's your turn?"

Dean looked at Sam and then he threw back his head and laughed. After a second or two he sobered up enough to ask, "_What_… I'm going to walk away from the pit and live happily fucking after knowing my brother… _my little _brother is in hell going through the same thing Dad and I both went through? _Yeah_, like that will fucking happen." Dean snorted and was ramping up to have his say on the matter.

"Dean." Sam tiredly sighed out his name.

"Who says I want normal if I can't have you there too?" Dean snapped and then headed around the car as he said, "Sam… give me a chance to find another way to stop him."

Sam studied Dean. His voice was hoarse and he looked like he hadn't slept in… well, _forever._ He finally sighed again as he relented and said, "A week."

Dean jerked to a stop and stared as he mouthed, "A week." Then he snapped loudly, "A fucking week?" he repeated, pissed. What the hell was he suppose to accomplish in a week? Seven measly days. It was a slap in the face to realize that Sam didn't _want_ him to save him. _Well, screw that_. If he only had a week, he'd fix this… in a week.

Sam nodded as he took a step back saying as he went, "Yeah, D. _One week_. Then I do it." He continued in a backward motion as he stated, "I'd like to have you with me on this but… I _gotta_ save you this time."

Dean had followed him finally he grabbed him and pulled him into a hug.

Sam's arms slowly circled around Dean's back and his fists gripped the back of his shirt as he whispered, "I love you too, Dean. More than you think."

Dean sighed as he felt Sam's shaking as he held on tight. He whispered comfortingly, "If we can't find another way… I'll stand with you and we'll do it your way."

Sam slumped into Dean's shoulder as he whispered, "Thanks D."

Dean's hand went up to Sam's hair as he bopped him on the head and stepped back.

At Sam's shocked look he grinned as he said, "_You little shit_… of course I have your back. Don't I always? bitch."

"jerk." Sam said grinning as he rubbed the back of his head he thought silently, _I can do this. D is backing me up._

Later while Sam was sitting on the front porch with his beers still at the ready, Dean was upstairs packing a bag. He jumped slightly when he heard Bobby speak, "Going somewhere, princess?"

Bobby was leaning against the doorframe as he watched Dean pack. He didn't miss the guilty blush that radiated across Dean's face. Yeah, like he needed any confirmation. He knew his boys. The Winchester Way. Fix it for the other or die trying. Annoying as hell, but true none the less. But at this moment both boys had different ideas on just how to fix the current pile of shit they were rolling around in.

Dean sighed as he continued to roll a shirt up and stuff it in his duffle.

Bobby crossed his arms across his chest as he asked, "Well, boy… you gone deaf too?"

"Too?" Dean commented as he continued to pack. No, not chancing a glance at Bobby. Bobby would know with just one look into his traitorous eyes what he was up to.

"Does Sam know?" Bobby asked crankily.

"Know what?" Dean asked evasively as he finished packing and zipped up his bag. Apparently he didn't need to see that glimmer in his eyes to know Dean was up to something.

"Whatever it is your planning?" Bobby growled in reply.

"Yeah, he's given me a week to find another way to stop this. So that's what I'm doing." He stated as he shouldered the bag.

"U-huh." Bobby commented, not moving from blocking the doorway.

"Bobby… do you really expect anything else from me?" Dean asked him wearily in a defeated tone.

"No. That's why our bags are already packed. So where are we headed?" Bobby said straightening up and stepping into the room, his bag already on his shoulder.

"We?" Dean asked, looking totally confused.

"You really are an idgit if you think we're letting you leave without us." Bobby stated firmly.

Dean frowned at Bobby as he asked, "Sam has a bag packed?"

"On the porch, he didn't want you to sneak off without him. I assured him, you wouldn't dare try that after that little heart to heart you had with him." Bobby snapped with a glare.

He pointedly stepped aside for Dean to pass and move ahead of him. When Dean was even with him, he smacked him upside the head with his baseball cap before slapping it back on his own head. Muttering he bit out, "Damn if your brother wasn't right. _Idgit_."

Walking silently outside Dean couldn't miss the look of disappointment that flashed across Sam's face before he schooled it to a look of indifference as he drawled out after pulling his beer away from his lips, "Going somewhere?"

"Apparently we're all going on a family outing." Dean said a little sarcastically.

"U-huh." Sam said as he stood setting his beer down on the little wicker stand by the chair. Stepping over his bag he walked up nose to nose with his brother as he said in a deep voice that shook with anger, "You try to pull another dumb-ass move like that and you lose your week."

Dean grabbed his brothers shirt in his fists as he snarled, "Don't ever threaten me with that again or so help me God." He gave Sam a shake that rattled his teeth, "If you fucking try that I'll follow you and kick your fucking shit for brains ass all the way back here from the pit. You better fear me more than anything else because I will be fucking pissed…" his voice lowered as he told him, "_You get me, little brother_?"

Sam grinned as he told him, "Yeah." He touched his forehead to Dean's as he told him, "I get you. Now get me, quit tryin' to ditch me."

Dean bumped his forehead against Sam's as he whispered, "Good. I guess we got that cleared up."

Stepping apart Sam smirked as he repeated, "Shit for brains? I thought I was the genius of the family. So let me get this straight… that would make you…"

Bobby cleared his throat as he asked sarcastically, "Well, are we done with the chick shit now… can we move on and get goin'? Shit to fix if I recall…"

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Not mine… will never be**… (sobbing in the corner) I am the Queen of my Sandbox and the leader of the midnight Raids, though… (stands and wipes tears with fists) **So there…** (sticks out tongue)

**NOTE#1:** Remember, not canon… my Sandbox Rules apply! Thank you all for the reviews, favs and alerts! I'm not sure if people expect a personal reply or not… I have no idea what the rules are for that… but I greatly appreciate them… each and everyone! HuGGs… (smiles)

Chapter 2

After the bags were tossed in the trunk and they climbed into the impala Bobby leaned onto the back of the seat and asked Dean, "So exactly where are we headed?"

Sam looked over at Dean as he waited for his answer as well.

Dean stared sullenly ahead. He didn't want them along for the ride. What if he had to wheel and deal to make this work? To stop this insane pit jump. Not to mention the other things involved in the whole shitty mess. _How was he going to make anything happen with these two tagalongs breathing down his neck?_

Sam and Bobby exchanged looks before Bobby sat back and silently watched Dean. _He knew Dean._ The little idgit was up to something. _Something_ he didn't want them along for. He just wasn't sure what that was… _yet_.

Sam chewed on his lower lip while he studied his big brother. He looked like shit. They'd been through the ringer and they (heaven _and _hell) weren't done with them yet. Pitting them against one another when all they'd had for awhile now was each other. Well, it sucked. It more than sucked, _it was the last straw_. It could very well shatter them into a million pieces. _And just how the hell can you come back from that?_

A couple hours into the silence and Sam cleared his throat before he asked, "Dean… where are we going?" He hoped for an answer that Bobby hadn't gotten when he'd posed the question earlier.

Dean continued to drive for a few minutes before he told them, "Dad's storage."

"The one at Castle?" Sam asked surprise laced in his voice.

"He got any more that I don't know about?" Dean asked but he looked at Bobby in the rearview mirror.

"How should I know?" Bobby asked crabbily, once again leaning forward.

Sam turned and echoed Dean, "Does he?"

Bobby leaned back and frowned, crossing him arms in silence before he said quietly, "Turn left at Hwy 59."

Dean got a pissed off look on his face as he silently followed Bobby's directions. Ten minutes later Dean snapped, "When were you going to tell us about this Bobby?"

Bobby shrugged but remained stubbornly silent.

"Bobby." Dean repeated as his fingers clenched reflexively on the wheel.

"It wasn't time." He finally muttered sullenly.

Dean and Sam glanced at each other before Dean growled, "It wasn't time? Bobby, when would have been _the time_? After Sammy jumped in the pit?" Dean slammed on the brakes and yanked the wheel to the right pulling off the road onto the side as he roughly maneuvered the car into park. Jumping out he slammed the driver's door and stalked away. _He couldn't believe it! _Bobby knew he had a week. _And he pulls this shit on him! _Wasting time they _didn't _have letting him chase a useless lead!

God, he was pissed! He stormed back to the car and yanked open his door. Leaning in he snarled at Bobby, "_DON'T _ever keep shit from me again! _This… _this is wasting my time! Time I don't have!" He climbed back in and once again slammed his door shut.

Mumbling under his breath while he put the car into gear, he floored it. Squalling tires, horns blaring in protest and a trail of scorched rubber left in their wake caused a hint of a smile from Dean. Sam white knuckled the dash but wisely kept his mouth shut.

Three and half hours later they pulled up to an old farmhouse. A man immediately appeared on the porch holding a shotgun.

Once Bobby stepped out the gun was lowered and the man smiled as he asked, "How the hell are you Bob?"

"To tell you the truth, we've been better. I'd like you to meet the boys." Bobby said with a strained smile as he walked over to the man and shook hands.

"_The boys_?" He asked surprised and then grinned. "Well, it's about damn time." He stated with genuine enthusiasm.

Dean and Sam looked at each other confused. The man seemed to know about them. It left them feeling at a disadvantage because they had no idea who the man was.

"Been wondering when you'd show and want to see the collection." He told them, smiling broadly.

"The collection?" Sam echoed exchanging glances once more with Dean.

"Well, you don't think we keep everything in one locale do ya?" The guy asked and then snorted in response to their twin looks of '_what the fuck is going on_?'

"Bob has some, some of it's at Castle, some of it's here and then Fort Tayme has the rest. Then of course we have copies stashed all over hell and back." The guy stated proudly.

"Fort Tayme?" Bobby repeated with a snort, instantly his mind supplied the image of the tiny woman in her late sixties who had a hell of a reputation as a woman _not_ to piss off.

The guy laughed as he held out his hand to Sam who was closer, "Name's Joseph Pacer… Pace for short." After shaking Sam's hand he asked, "You little Sammy?"

Dean chuckled as he agreed, "Yeah, that'd be him."

Pace turned sparkling eyes towards Dean as he said, "And I guess that makes you Deanny."

Dean turned maroon as he corrected the guy, "Just Dean." Dean hastily changed the subject as he asked, "How come you never mentioned this before Bobby?"

Bobby said quickly, "We only wanted the angels to know about Castle. It's kinda the one we want people to find."

"So people will think that's it and stop looking?" Sam guessed.

"He is smart." Pace stated.

Bobby nodded in agreement as Pace asked, "So what _are_ you looking for?"

Dean said cryptically, "I'll know it when I see it."

"Alrighty then, let's get to it." Pace commented as he headed towards the barn. While they walked he told the boys, "I was real sorry to hear about your pa. He could be a right pain in the ass, but he was a damn fine hunter."

"Thanks." Dean said quickly hoping that would end the conversation about their Dad.

"Also heard some rumors that a couple of shit for brains took you boys out, glad to see that was bullshit." He continued to rattle as he walked into the barn and straight into the last stall, barely pausing as he exposed the hidden door. Pace stomped down some metal stairs as he continued to talk, "We got all of Jim and Caleb's work here as well as some other lost hunters. Most of the stuff is here. Tayme has about as much as the Castle unit has. Bobby has more than both of them and then the rest is here. Oh, I took the liberty of adding the Campbell stuff, it's here as well."

"You have the Campbell bunker?" Dean repeated, then looked at Bobby as he started to question. "How the hell…"

Bobby quickly butt in to say, "Couldn't let all that fall into the wrong hands."

Sam stopped at the bottom of the stairs as he asked Bobby, "Why didn't you tell us about this before?" He turned grim as he stated angrily, "It might have helped me save Dean and then none of this shit would have…"

Dean placed his hand on Sam's arm as he whispered, "It's done. Let it go."

Sam jerked his arm away as he snapped, "No. I could have saved you."

"You don't know that Sammy." He took both of Sam's arms in his grip and gave a slight squeeze as he told him softly, "We'll fix it now, okay?"

Pace had walked over and flipped some switches and light other than from the barn above flooded the room.

Dean gave a slight whistle as he told Sammy, "Look at this shit, you could spend days down here…" It looked like a library with rows and rows of shelves with books and objects, file boxes all stacked on metal shelving that went to the ceiling. "This is insane."

Pace said with a chuckle, "No, insane is trying to catalog all this mess. It's taken years and I'm still not done…" He smiled as he hinted, "Maybe you guys can help me."

"Another time, maybe. Right now we got to cage a devil." Dean said firmly.

Pace's smile froze as he said softly, "That's a mighty big thing to try to do."

Bobby spoke up as he said, "All the handwritten stuff is in the file cabinets on the back wall."

"Right now I have each person's notes in their own cabinets. The first 4 cabinets are Murphys, the next 3 are Calebs' and the yellow one belongs to Ellen, Ash and Jo, then mine and the rest are yours and Johns. Then there the boxes of Campbell notes I haven't gotten filed yet." Pace stated.

Rubbing his chin he said thoughtfully, "You might want to start with Jim's notes…" He continued as he pointed, "Back there I have a table set up and extra lights. No one will bother you and stay as long as you like. We still have that small apartment in the back as well."

Dean chuckled as he said, "This is so X-files."

Pace commented matter-of-factly, "No, Hunter Files. We're much more organized."

Sam laughed at the expression on Dean's face.

Dean shrugged as he said, "Let's get to it then." and with that he walked away.

Sam looked at Pace as he told him, "This is really quite impressive."

Pace smiled as he said, "It was all Bob and John's idea."

Bobby dropped his duffle as he told Sam, "Try looking in the section on Lucifer. It should be over to the left, 3rd row from the top… that whole shelf marked Hell."

"No." Dean snapped from the back, "You look there. I need Sam back here with me."

Sam shrugged as he mumbled, "Sorry Bobby." as he headed back to where Dean was currently looking through a file drawer.

Sam asked as he walked up. "You really that pissed at Bobby?"

"Naw… no more than you are." Dean said as he mumbled, "Nixies?"

"Nixie? Wha… what?" Sam asked crankily as he opened a file drawer of Jims while he stared at Dean.

"What?" Dean asked looking up from the files he was currently reading.

"You called me a Nixie." Sam said as he started rifling through the drawer.

"No, Dad has files on Dutch folklore. Ya know, they settled in Pennyslvania."

Sam chuckled as he said, "Actually they were _German_ not Dutch. So that would be _German folklore_." He concluded with an elbow push to the drawer he'd just pulled a stack of files from.

"What the fuck ever, dude. A Nixie is a _GERMAN_ name for water or lake people." Dean said in a huff as he pulled a file and plopped down in a nearby chair and smacked his feet onto the table.

"Dude, really?" Sam asked as he looked up from the files he'd stacked up on the table in front of him where he had sat down a few seconds before Dean.

Dean looked over the file at Sam and grinned as he arched an eyebrow. He was trying for _No, not sweating bullets over here. I'm calm, cool and collected..._

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: **Not my sandbox, not my Winchesters and not my Bobby…

**NOTE#1: **I'm so sorry for the non Wednesday post. I rarely (luckily) have meniere's episodes. But this week has been one of my unlucky weeks. Hey, people… I want off the merry go round… it's not merry for me at all. Smiles… Thank you all for the reviews, favs and alerts… they brighten my dizzy days! Air HuGgs! I wanted to wait until my head was a little clearer to post but I'm so late that I'm posting since I can sit up for 10 minutes without up-chucking… I know… TMI...

**NOTE#2: **enjoy…

Chapter 3

A couple hours later and Bobby asked from somewhere near the front of the rows of shelves, "Found anything useful?"

Dean sighed and as he huffed in frustration asked, "Have you?"

Sam looked up from his reading to stare at Dean.

After several seconds of silence Dean started to get restless as he waited for Sam to speak. But instead he continued to stare. Sam's hand went slowly to his forehead where he rubbed vigorously at it, still not blinking or talking.

Dean scrambled to his feet and dropped the file he was reading to the table as he leaned over and felt Sam's head, _no fever_. So, migraine… or _vision_? He hadn't had one… he pulled Sam's hand away from his head and finally Sam focused on him. "Shit, Sam. Don't fucking do that again. What the hell?" He snapped angrily effectively masking his worry.

"What?" Sam asked innocently. _What was Dean's problem?_

"Why the zone out?" Dean asked as he studied Sam.

_Oh, okay… that was his problem. _"I have a headache…" Sam said with a little bit of a question at the end. Not sure if that was the answer Dean wanted.

"You sure? No vision or anything weird?" Dean asked, sitting back down slowly while still focused on his little brother.

Sam gave him a smile as he said, "Maybe I need glasses with all this reading small print."

"Maybe it's just you trying to read Jim's chicken scratch." Dean said as he picked up his file.

"Hey, did you know there was a 6th and 7th Books of Moses that deal with witchcraft and…" Sam said as he looked back at the file and then up at Dean.

"Well, do you think there is anything that we could use in that?" Dean interrupted.

Sam shrugged and said, "Maybe, we'll ask Bobby if we have those here."

"Ask me what?" Bobby asked as he walked up to the table with a pile of books, dropping them on the table with a bang.

"About the 6th and 7th books of Moses." Sam said automatically, not looking up from his file.

"We have a copy in German for those." Bobby commented as he sat down and picked up a book.

"Well, are they here?" Sam asked finally looking at Bobby.

"No. They're at my house." Bobby said as he thoughtfully sat down a book and picked up another.

"Do you think that it would have anything we're looking for in it?" Dean asked. That was all he wanted to know. He didn't care if Sam had never heard of it or wanted to read it. He could do that later. When they didn't have Lucifer wanting to wear Sammy to the prom.

"I don't think it would, it's probably along the same lines as the rest of the bible. It would probably talk about witch related…"

"Bobby." Dean almost whined, "Can it tell me how to get rid of the devil?"

"YOU?" Sam snapped blinking at Dean.

"Yeah…" At the look on Sam's face, Dean sighed and corrected himself. "Us… Help _us _get rid of the devil."

Sam slammed down the file he was currently sifting through and stood, kicking his chair back out of the way before storming off.

"What?" Dean called after Sam, "What did I do?" Dean glanced at Bobby before shaking his head and stalking off after Sammy. He caught up with him just outside the barn.

"Sam, what a damn minute… would you?"

"No." Sam snapped, speeding up.

Dean lurched forward grabbing Sam by the arm and spinning him around.

"Don't Dean. I'm not in the mood. I'm trying here man. I really am. But you…" Sam clamped his lips together and stopped himself from saying anything more.

"I what? Sam, I'm here. I'm doing this…" Dean snapped only to be interrupted by Sam.

"What? For me? Dean." Sam stopped shook his head as he jerked his arm away.

"Who else Sam? Who else would I be here for?" Dean demanded, starting to get pissed off himself.

"Dean. I'm not going to screw this up." Sam looked pleadingly at him before he added, "I'm ending it. Okay?"

"Sammy, I…" Dean started as he reached for his brother.

"Don't say you believe in me." Sam demanded as he took a step back. "Just don't make it worse by lying to me."

Dean fought the urge to pound on Sam. Knock some sense into his stubborn ass. Dean shook his head in frustration. "I do believe Sam. I believe that you will kill yourself if you thought it would make things right. But that's not good enough."

Sam paled before he stuttered, "Well, I'm so… sorry. It's as good as I've got." He turned and tried to get away before Dean could see the tears.

Dean watched as Sam walked away from him. Their world was F.U.B.A.R. He decided to get some things straight once and for all with Sam. _The stupid little shit! He wanted his brother not.._. He was startled as a hand grabbed his arm and kept him in place instead of letting him move forward.

He was surprised to see Pace standing there looking at him.

Pace dropped his hand before he said softly, "Maybe give him a little breathing room. Talk when you both are calmer."

"No offense dude. But this don't fucking concern you." Dean growled.

"True enough, but it does you." He nodded in the direction Sam had went before he added, "and him. One thing about little brothers… they are always trying to prove to their perfect older brothers that they are worthy."

"I'm not perfect." Dean said with a snort.

"To him, you are. It's just a little brother thing." Pace said softly.

"So your big brother was perfect huh?" Dean said with a tiny grin.

"I thought so. He didn't." Pace said, still watching Sam.

"I'm thinking he thinks he failed you… from the way he's acting. In a big way… he just wants a chance to fix it. Make you proud of him again." Pace told him wisely.

"I never stopped." Dean whispered.

"Looks like he believes so." Pace said gently.

Dean stared after Sam. _Yeah, Sam had that look again. The kicked puppy look._

Pace slowly moved off, leaving Dean to mull over what he'd said.

Dean started chewing his nails as he watched Sam stop and lean against the fence to stare at nothing. _Why did it always fall on them to fix the world… well, this time they broke it but this shit had started long before they were born._

He shook his head and went back into the barn. He wasn't surprised to find Bobby still at the table looking through another stack of files.

"It settled?" Bobby asked without looking up.

"Soon." Dean said shortly.

"Good." Bobby said closing one file and opening another.

Dean sat down and folded his arms across his chest. He watched for Sam to come back. Over an hour passed causing Dean to consider heading back up after his idiot brother when he heard him stomping down the stairs.

Dean snatched up a random file and opened it just as Sam walked back up to the table.

"Feel better?" Dean asked not looking up.

"I'm fine." Sam mumbled as he sat down heavily in the chair across from Dean.

Dean peeked over the file at his brother, he snorted, _Yeah, he really looks fine_.

Sammy's head jerked up to stare at Dean before ducking his head quickly back to his own file.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: **Don't own those angst-ridden boys… (damn)

**NOTE#1: Decided to change posting day to Thursday. **Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause, but I wuv you… does that count? Thank you all for the faves, R&R's and followers… (How freakin cool is that? That all those are associated with my writing) Oh, I am posting my first picture for a story… This one! Smiles… enjoy…

Chapter 4

The two continued to peek at each other over their respective files until Bobby snorted, muttering "_idgits…"_ under his breath as he stood and picked up a stack of books.

"I'm going to go put these back while you two get your shit together and quit acting like a couple of damn schoolgirls. Put your big boy boots on and let's get this figured out." Then he turned and stormed off towards the rows of bookshelves.

Dean smirked as he watched Bobby until he moved out of sight and then he focused on Sam, "You okay?" He questioned softly.

Sam told Dean flatly, "I can't… I won't go through losing you again. So you try any of that heroic _got to save Sam _shit and I will knock you out, tie you up and do this shit myself… _you get me_?"

Dean stared at his exhausted little brother and then grinned. He could get mad but what good would that do? He would so do the same damn thing to Sam if it came down to it.

"Well, there's my boy."

Sam jerked in response, he was more than a little surprised that Dean hadn't thrown one of his famous bitch fits. Then with a smirk he muttered, "jerk." as he moved his file back up to cover his face.

Dean mumbled, "That's right bitch, better hide behind that." and with that they both got back to looking for a way to save the world and each other.

They worked well into the night and didn't stop even to eat a solid meal instead just munching on junk food brought down by Pace. But by noon the next day Pace insisted they break for lunch. A real home cooked meal with homemade pie. In under two hours they had eaten and returned to the library under the barn and to their research.

"Weird." Dean commented after over thirty minutes of silence from everyone.

"What?" Bobby asked, looking up from his book.

"Well, Dad is talking about German folklore, right?" Dean said, looking from Bobby to Sam.

"You're still reading about that? Wasn't that what you were reading when we first started yesterday?" Sammy asked.

"Well, he had three drawers on just German folklore." Dean defended himself and then added, "Anyways, he's talking about some guy who wrote a story that was stolen from Frierdich Gerstacker who wrote the story called Germelhausen. Brigadoon was a 1954 MGM film with Gene Kelly adapted from that same short story. It's about a vanishing and reappearing town. Then he goes off about some town called Franklin, Kansas. He talks about it having a curse on it, not unlike the Dudleytown curse. _Get this_… Franklin is just 3 miles southeast of present day Lawrence."

"Dudleytown, as in Connecticut?" Sam asked shaking his head as he murmured, "I don't remember ever working a case…"

Bobby interrupted Sam to confirm, "You didn't."

"Okay…" Sam slowly drew out the word as he looked back at Dean.

Dean looked up as he told Sam, "Dad believed that Franklin was the site of more than just a ghost town. Maybe with a curse similar to Dudleytown." He looked at Bobby, "Did he ever talk to you about it?"

Bobby cleared his throat as he said, "That was a legend that your dad thought might be linked to what happened in Lawrence."

Dean stared at Bobby as he asked, "How could it be?"

"There was people called Mound Builders in this area. There were the farmers of the four. There was an East Coast and a West Coast group that fished the coasts. There was another group… the aggressive ones. They were from the Great Lakes area. They weren't content to stay where they were. They came and set up camp where the ghost town of Franklin is now. They harnessed a great evil and to counter it, the farmers called upon the great spirit to help them. He gave them the power of Bermuda and with that they cursed that village and it disappeared. It reappears every 150 years for a time and is gone for another 150 years. Or that was the just of the research your Dad uncovered."

"Why was Dad looking into it?" Sam asked confused.

"Well, Legend had it if you can keep a person there until the town disappears they will too… at least for 150 years." Bobby said.

Dean stared at Bobby before he stood and threw down the file he was holding.

Sam slowly put down his own file before saying softly, "Dean." He could tell by just how Dean had thrown down the file that he was pissed.

Dean took a deep breath and braced his hands on the table as he leaned forward, "And you didn't think this might be something we could use instead of throwing Sammy into the pit with Lucy?"

"Uh… I…" Bobby sat his book down as he looked Dean in the eye he told him, "I didn't even remember it until you said something about it."

Sam reached out and touched Dean's arm, trying to ground Dean to him as he suggested, "How about we go get some air, maybe some food?"

Dean jerked his arm out of reach as he snapped, "Don't try to… just… _shit_!" He finally snapped running a hand through his hair as he reminded himself to focus. "What was Dad's idea?" He asked softly as he looked at Bobby.

"He thought maybe he could trap the demon there. But he never got anything solid to work with. The Indians in the area wouldn't talk to him. So he finally gave up when he learned about the Colt. So it's been years since I heard… _I'm sorry Dean_." Bobby said as he looked at Sam he said softly, "I don't… I didn't…"

Sam smiled at him as he reassured him, "Don't worry about it, there's a lot…"

Dean snapped as he interrupted, "No big deal right?" He took a step away from the table as he started to pace, "Just another day in the fucked up world of the Winchesters, _right Sam_?" Dean threw up his hands as he ranted.

Sam looked at him, startled at the intense rage permeating Dean's tone; his whole body. He managed a squeaky _Dean_.

Dean stormed off and punched the wall as he went past only to storm back and slam his hand onto the table.

Bobby and Sam both jumped even though they saw the slam coming.

"I'm not taking this lying down. I'm done rolling over to get fucked! Not again! _We fight this_! Do you hear me! If…" Dean stopped bowed his head and took a couple of ragged breaths as he looked up once again as he told them quietly. "Either we find another way or we do the pit jump together."

Sam paled before he jumped to his feet and then forward towards Dean across the table, "You don't get to do that." he informed his big brother.

"Excuse me?" Dean's voice lowered dangerously as an eyebrow arched and his hands fisted silently at his sides.

"You heard me, D." Sam told him firmly.

Dean folded his arms to hide his shaking fists as he glared silently at Sam.

"You didn't fuck up the world. _I did_. That was me. You tried to tell me, but I was too far gone to listen. That is _not _your fault nor your responsibly to fix. _It's mine_. You have to let me do this for you." Sam's voice dropping to a whisper at the end of his speech.

"Oh, you're going to off yourself for me?" Dean leaned forward himself as he whispered back, "_I don't want your sacrifice_."

"Well, it's my turn." Sam growled right back.

"You're an…" Dean started.

"Besides you can go on…" Sam interrupted which had Dean fire back a response.

"Yeah, well who the fuck says I want to?" Dean asked bluntly.

"You can." Sam snapped in frustration.

"Yeah, well I don't want to." Dean snapped before he picked up the file he'd been reading and walked away.

Sam stared after Dean until he was no longer in site.

Bobby cleared his throat as he said gently, "Maybe you could have eased Dean into that a little slower."

"Bobby he let go of us awhile back." Sam sighed out as took a step away from Bobby.

"What are you talking…" Bobby started to ask.

"He only came back because he thinks I will say yes without him to stop me and then he'd have failed Dad." Sam told him bluntly.

"You don't really believe that boy." Bobby growled.

"I don't?" Sam repeated before he turned to face Bobby, "He threw the amulet away because _Cas_ said it was worthless. That means…" He stopped his voice hitching before he said softly not looking at Bobby but at his own feet, "That means." Sam straightened and turned to face Bobby before he finished, "That means he _agreed_… that me and him… it wasn't worth it to him to keep fighting. He gave up on us. _He went on_… so don't tell me he can't. Cause he can and he'll do it a hell of a lot better than I did. He doesn't feel the way he used to about me… or us." Sam had started to visibly shake as he talked.

Bobby stood as he said, "Kid, you don't look so good… maybe you should…"

Sam laughed harshly before he snapped, "Bobby. It's okay. I get it okay."

**TBC**

**NOTE#2: **Checked out the Mound Builders (my husband and son's idea) and they had different areas they lived in and for example the mound builders of the Great Lakes were more warlike and the ones of the Kansas Plains were more farmers. For the purpose of our story I have decided their will be four groups. One on the east coast, one on the west coast (no evidence has been found of this) One at the Great Lakes(there is evidence) and one of the Great Plains(evidence as well). The Kaw Indians are from the area and I am making them the descendents of the Mound Builders… (yes I am taking liberties and mean no disrespect (I am Crow, Choctaw and Cherokee- among other things- smiles) I have researched them and then added things to fit my story… but hey, that's what fiction is all about, right?

**NOtSOTiNYnoTe: **I am choosing for my sinking/disappearing town Franklin, Kansas. It is a real town, which is at present a ghost town which is only 3 miles southeast of present day Lawrence, Kansas. **Perfect Location**! It is just south of old highway 10 (Now I-435).

The old cemetery is still in place. (since 1853 when the town was born) Lawrence and Franklin are about the same age and actually fought against each other during the civil war. (sacking of Lawrence and the raid on Franklin) Franklin was pro-slave and Lawrence was free. There is one stone building left used for hay storage. Height of the town was in 1860 when the town boasted 2000+ people. After the civil war the town was basically abandoned when the railroad went through Lawrence and not Franklin. The Post Office shut it's doors in 1867 and the town disappeared…


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **Don't own one itsy bitsy bit of handsome Winchesterness. It is so sad… I could drown in my tears of frustration… but then I wouldn't be able to steal them from their sandbox if I were a ghost… or could I? (evil cackle) Smiles, ya'll!

**NOTE#1: I had forgotten how time consuming babies were… **even little poopy puppy ones! LOL, they are adorable… but they keep you running… No, don't poop **THERE! **Then they scatter because I scared them and… you get the picture. Thanks so much for all the lovely, fuzzy, huggable reviews! Also favs and alerts! OH! I tried to post a picture last chapter, apparently I did something wrong. Will try again…

Chapter 5

Sam didn't see Dean until he slammed into him, ramming him into the table until he was laid back across it with his shirt clenched in Dean's fists. Dean leaned in almost touching noses as he snarled, "Now you listen to me, cause I'm only going to say this once. I was pissed… _really fucking pissed _that you chose a demon over me. Then when I recovered somewhat from that I get a ringside view of your heaven." He laughed harshly, "And if I thought my feelings were hurt before, _damn _was I in for a rude awakening… cause the fucking hits kept coming! So yeah, I checked out for awhile… _but little brother_, I'm back and it has jack shit to do with Dad. _This is about me and you_." He slammed Sam back against the table and then let go as he stepped away he asked, "So tell me little brother what exactly do you get?" Intense green eyes smoldering with rage bore into him, daring him to answer.

Sam slowly sat up as he rubbed his chest he continued to stare at Dean. His brows furrowed as he considered Dean's words. So, _Dean wasn't mad at him anymore_? He continued to rub absentmindedly at his chest as he wondered if it could really be that simple and did he even deserve that? That… _I'm over it so let's move on_.

"I…" Sam started to say but Bobby interrupted him.

"You idgits have both forgive each other in this mess why not try to forgive yourselves and let's figure this out." Bobby watched both of them as he waited for their answers.

Dean stared solemnly at Sam a minute longer before he turned and grinned at Bobby as he said, "Who knew we had Yoda with us."

"idgit." Bobby said, smiling fondly at him.

Sam had been looking at Bobby only to jerk his head around to stare at Dean.

"What?" Dean asked, feeling Sam's gaze on him even before he looked back to confirm it. Then he picked up the file he had thrown down when he'd tackled Sam and remarked, "I watch movies."

Sam shook his head as he cautiously stood and slipped into his chair while he continued to watch Dean.

Dean walked around the table and sat back down opposite Sam and opened the file as he laid it down flat on the table. He shuffled some papers around as he said, "When Dad was last in Franklin it had one building and the graveyard still standing." He looked up and noticed both of them staring at him, "What?" He finally asked as he leaned back in the chair and tossed the page he was reading from onto the table. "Didn't you say get down to business Bobby?" placing his hands behind his head as he looked at each one in turn he asked again, "What?"

Sam opened his mouth to say something only to close it again having said nothing.

Dean gave him a smile before he dropped his hands and leaned forward as he asked, "You got something to say little brother?"

"If you had to pick between me and Adam who would you pick?" Sam asked, then slammed his mouth shut, he damn sure hadn't planned to ask _that_! What the Hell was wrong with him? Was he looking for Dean to kill him outright? That was entering no man's land. It was in the land of _Shit you Didn't Really Want to Know. So, yeah way to fuck up, Sammy! _The voice in his head badgered him and would have kept at it if Dean hadn't interrupted.

Dean lurched up from his chair, threw a hand through his hair before he snapped, "What the hell kind a question is that?"

"Umm?" Sam grunted, 'Cause, yeah… _where had that come from_? _Dean was going to kill him…_

Dean pursed his lips together in frustration as he growled out, "You."

"And right after Heaven if they'd given you a choice, who then?" Sam asked, groaning because he _REALLY_ didn't want to hear Dean pick Adam. He had already crammed his foot so far up his ass he might as well finish the job he thought as he watched Dean closely.

"It's not fair to ask me that." Dean stated, sighing loudly before he finally answered, "You… you little shit_…_ _It will always be you_." Turning away he demanded his body to get his breathing under control. To be honest he had wondered that himself; but to actually admit it aloud seemed _wrong._

Sam said softly, "I always thought I was picking you too." He laughed harshly before he said, "I'm sorry Dean. I wish I was half as smart as I once thought I was."

Dean turned and stared at Sam, tilting his head to the side as he studied him. Then he silently walked around the table and over to Sam as he said, "Sammy… we took the long way back home to each other." He pulled him into a hug as he told him softly, "But now that we are together…" Dean stepped back as he finished what he wanted to say, "I don't want to throw us away again and letting you pit jump, that would be doing just that."

Sammy tried to keep the tears at bay as he took a ragged breath he whispered, "It will always be you." He thought to himself, _If he remembered that one thing, to always pick Dean… it would be okay._

"What?" Dean asked not quite hearing what Sam had said.

"Nothing. So, Franklin, Kansas…" Sammy left it open as he reached for his chair and sat back down he pulled the file to him as he spun it around.

Dean gave a half grin as he stepped up next to Sam and leaned down, he pointed as he said, "Dad thought the Indians knew the secret of Franklin. But he couldn't get them to talk. _I will though_."

Sam looked at him surprised, "What makes you think they'll talk to you when they wouldn't talk to Dad?"

"I inherited my huntin' skills from mom." Dean said before he added softly, "And my charm."

Sam snorted as he said, "Yeah, right… you're going to charm the Indians into spilling theirs guts about something they've kept from public knowledge for hundreds of years."

Dean popped him on the back of the head as he told him, "We'll tell them the truth and they'll help us. They are noble and shit…" He stopped at the look Sam gave him and said, "What?" as he plopped down beside his little brother.

"So… the Indians are responsible for the curse that befell Franklin because of what they did to the Indian encampment?" Sam surmised.

"I would think so." Bobby piped up as he looked up from a book he was reading.

"So, we guilt them into helping us?" Sammy asked, making sure he was getting it straight.

"That's my boy…" Dean stated proudly before he glanced over at Bobby to add, "Smart ain't he?" He grinned as his thoughts strayed to the weird questions Sam had asked and what that meant Sam was thinking. Cause a guilty Sam was a sure reason for Dean to panic. His smile faded as his gaze once again centered on Sam.

Sam was staring at him like he expected him to answer something, which he had no idea about because he hadn't been listening. _Crap_! He thought silently. He suddenly felt like he was on a swinging bridge that he really needed to keep his balance on… because Sammy was counting on him to make it across. Dean frowned before he muttered, "What?"

"I said how about we go in there with the facts and see what they suggest." Sam stated in a tone that suggested he'd repeated the same thing more than once already.

"Yeah." Dean snorted before he stated sarcastically, "Right. They will throw us out on our lily white…"

"Dean." Bobby interrupted, "You just suggested the same thing not three minutes ago… Now, what else does it say about Franklin?"

Dean looked at Sam a couple of seconds longer as a lopsided grin slowly appeared before he focused on Bobby. "Well, it started out in 1853 as a pro slavery stronghold…"

"What does that even have to do with anything?" Sam asked with a confused tone in his voice.

"I don't know." Dean snapped aggravated, "That's just what it says. Maybe the fact that Lawrence and Franklin started out at the same time caught Dad's attention." He looked up to see Bobby and Sam's opinion of his idea and at the blank stares he sighed and continued talking, "Looks like they were doing really well in 1860 with around 2000 people living there. But the troubles started around the civil war. Franklin was pro slavery and Lawrence was not and they would raid each other's town and that went on back and forth throughout the war. Their Post Office shut down in 1867 and then it slowly died out when the railroad went through Lawrence instead of Franklin."

"Okay… then why did Dad and you think Franklin was affected by the Indian thing?" Sam posed the question with a frown.

"Because…" He drew out the word and then continued, "Throughout that entire time, from the very start of the town, even when building it there was bizarre deaths and weird things that didn't make sense. Dad, thinks with the Indian village vanishing and reappearing somehow pulled Franklin into its void, at least to some degree."

"Huh… you remembered all that from what you just read?" Bobby asked sounding surprised.

"Yeah, so." Dean snapped feeling picked on so he snapped, "I can read ya know and I'm even able to retain shit."

Sam couldn't help it, he laughed and as Dean glared daggers at him Sam said, "That's my boy."

Dean tilted his head to the side as he studied Sam.

Sam smirked as he said, "A smartass jerk 'til the end."

"bitch." Dean instantly retorted as he reached over and grabbed Sam in a headlock and prepared to use his head like a drum.

"Dean…" Sam whined and then he muttered, "headache."

"_Shit_!" Dean snapped as he instantly let go and grabbed Sam's shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze as he asked, "You okay?"

Sam reached out and popped him on the back of the head and at Dean's shocked looked he laughed again.

A slow smile spread across Dean's face. It was nice to hear his little brother laugh. If he had anything to say about it they would have a lot more times like these. Well not like these, but happy times… just listening to his brother… being brothers and by God it wasn't too much to ask for.

Bobby watched the boys interaction and smiled for too brief a moment as he instantly remembered the shit storm they were currently in the middle of. _Stay focused _he reminded himself.

"So, what else does it say?" Bobby asked softly.

Dean instantly stilled, "Well, Dad had penciled in ideas on how to trap the demon. Something about special iron cuffs and finding the stone of Bermuda. He thinks the Indians still have it. But do you know…" Dean looked up at Bobby, "These cuffs, did he get them made?"

Bobby frowned as he chewed on his lower lip. He looked back towards the front of the room, towards where Pace had left them. "Maybe he gave them to Pace, they aren't at my place or at Castle and I know he wouldn't leave with Tayme. So if he made them, Pace would know." Bobby surmised.

"Okay… so Dad didn't talk to you about it?" Dean asked.

"No. Remember we had that falling out?" Bobby mentioned softly.

"Oh, yeah." Dean said before he snapped his fingers as if he remembered something. Then he walked around the table, shuffling through several pages before he pulled one out and showed them as he sat on the edge of the table.

"What?" Both Sam and Bobby said at the same time.

"Dad had this geometry looking shit but he has dates as to when he thought the town would reappear, the next time is…" Dean looked at his watch and then said, "A week and two days and 13 hours from now." He grinned as he laid the page down and slapped it with an open palm as he stood, _It was coming together… a plan_. "Finally…" he said softly but stopped as he watched Sam.

Sam looked away and stood as well before he turned and walked away. He didn't say anything and he didn't look back.

**TBC**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **Not mine but… I am working on some posters… ya know Wanted Posters… maybe just maybe someone will return them to me… LOL

**NoTE#1: **Making this extra long since I got side tracked doing girly things with my kid… (marble nails which is really cool BTW) Only, turns out I was the lab rat… We messed up on mine and she got the perfect nails… It's all in the job descrip… taking one for the team… I think fumes from all the different colors of nail polish did me in… enjoy and thanks so much for all the reviews, favs and alerts! Ya'll Rock! (Double Chapter because of the wait, forgive me? BTW, I've went over this a number of times and I think I've corrected all the mistakes but I can't keep my eyes open to go over it again so hopefully I've caught any bloopers)

Chapter 6

Dean looked at Bobby stunned before he leaped over the table after Sammy. "What the hell, man?" Dean snapped as he chased after his little brother. Grabbing him by the arm, he yanked him to a stop as he turned him to face him.

"That's convenient don't you think, D?" Sam snarled at him. He knew Dean was just trying to stall for time. Shit really didn't happen like that!

"What?" Dean asked confused.

"That you found that and it's just over the week I promised to give you." Sam growled at him. "I'm not stupid." he added, crossing his arms.

"That's debatable." Dean retorted. "Did you ever think that maybe just once something is going our way?"

Sam shook his head no, "I'm not waiting Dean." Sam added emphatically. Because this time… _this time he was standing his ground!_

"The hell you aren't !" Dean snarled, fisting both hands in Sam's jacket and pulling him close.

"Not long ago, you wouldn't have cared." Sam rushed out before he bit his lip… he hadn't meant to say it aloud, even though it still stung. Once again he saw Dean dropping his amulet… _them _into the trash and walking away. No longer wanting to fix them. No longer wanting to fight with him. _Just done_.

"Yeah, I dropped the ball… but I found it and picked it back up. _Get used to it_." He gave Sam a slight shove before he pulled him up nose to nose and said hoarsely, "Cause the only way you're going down is _with me_." He stared at Sam a few seconds before closing his eyes and letting a tear slip through as he vowed, "I'm not letting you go without a fight, _not again_… I just can't." and he let go of Sam and stood with his head lowered and his hands fisted at his sides.

"Again?" Sam asked in barely a whisper, his tone confused.

Dean looked up as he whispered, "Before you opened the box…"

Sam looked at him with surprise as he told Dean, "You fought me then too."

Dean looked at him and Sam's heart skipped a beat at the utter despair he saw reflecting in his big brother's eyes.

Sam looked away as he whispered, "You don't deserve…" he turned and took a step away from Dean.

Dean had panic assault him… if Sam walked away he wouldn't be coming back. So he lunged and pinned Sam against the wall. Dean ignored the tears running down Sam's cheeks as he looked away from Dean.

"Dammit look at me!" Dean demanded, adding a little pressure to the arm across Sam's chest as he stuck his face closer to Sam.

Sam shook his head no.

"I can stand here all day, dude." Dean informed him, trying for a slight grin.

Sam sighed as he whispered, still not looking at Dean, "I know you're tired…"

"Of what Sam? What exactly am I tired of?" Dean demanded. He was suddenly getting a pretty good idea of just what Sam _thought _he was tired of.

"_Of me_… being responsible for me fucking up all…" Sam started to reply.

Sam's air was suddenly gone as Dean leaned in harder as he ordered Sam, "Shut the fuck up Sam." Sam's eyes lowered to almost closing as he took in a shuddering breath.

Dean felt Sam melt into a defeated position.

Dean sighed as he asked Sam in a soft voice, "What do you want from me?"

"_You can't_." Sam barely whispered.

"Can't what?" Dean asked as he waited for confirmation from his little brother.

"Forgive me… _not really_…" He said softly before rushing to say, "and I know I deserve it." He opened his eyes and looked at his big brother, "So… let me do what needs done and you can…" at the look on Dean's face he let the sentence die unfinished as he looked away again.

"Sam, what do you think would happen if I let you jump in the pit?" Dean asked softly.

Silence.

"Answer me." Dean ordered loudly causing Sam to flinch.

"You can get out… it would be over and you can walk away… you've wanted to for awhile and you wouldn't have to worry…" Sam turned to stare at Dean, the intensity radiating from his eyes and boring into Dean.

"Sam, it wouldn't happen that way." Dean said firmly.

"What?" Confused as he asked, "Why?" he asked in a almost whine.

"Because the minute you're done. So am I." Dean informed him.

Sam studied his face awhile before he said, "Dad said…"

Dean punched the wall next to Sam's head as he snarled, "I didn't and I won't."

Sam sighed before he said, "But you regretted it."

"What?" Dean asked, shocked.

"You regretted not…" Sam took another shuddering breath and continued, "not leaving me dead in Cold Oak. Not killing me when Meg… not letting me go after heaven…" Sam said even as he tried to hold back the tears. To stop them. He felt them sting his eyelids as they clung to his lashes waiting for the chance to fall.

Dean shook his head as he told his little… _stupid brother_, "Sammy… I never regretted those things… I'll admit it… it hurt seeing your heaven…"

_Yeah, he kept doing that. Hurting his brother. Over and over again. _Sammy shut his eyes, tears finally slid past lashes that clung wetly to his cheeks as he sagged in Dean's arms.

Dean went to the floor with Sam and said softly, "My first memory was dead on what heaven would be for me, but the rest…" Dean stopped as he took in a shuddering breath before he continued, "and yours little brother…"

Sammy looked up at Dean kneeling beside him with something close to hope, "Yours… even if it never included me… I would think there would have at least been Jess there. Sammy, we've been played by both sides and do you want to know why?"

Sam looked at Dean, puppy eyed and red nosed.

Dean shook his head with a smile, "Because _they_ are scared of us together. Divide and conquer and that my brother is the _only _way either side will win." Dean stated triumphantly.

Sam looked down and shook his head.

"You came back because you were afraid I'd say yes and fuck up more." Sam whispered.

"No, Sam I meant it when I said we kept each other human. I hated what I became without you… I was a real dick."

Sam stared at him for several seconds before he tried to smile, "Was?" he asked.

Dean rolled his eyes before he muttered with a slight grin, "Hilarious, Houdini."

Sam blinked before he said, "Houdini wasn't a comedian."

"No, shit Sherlock." Dean said quickly.

"Then why call me…" Sam stopped in mid sentence as he got it. _Disappearing… _He sighed _Cause yeah, he got it._

"Ok bitch… are we about done with the chick flicks?" Dean asked trying for a joking tone as he stood. He reached out his hand, waiting for Sam to take it.

"Jerk…" Sam whispered but looked away, not taking Dean's hand.

Dean didn't miss the hurt flash through Sam's eyes before he broke eye contact.

Dean shrugged as he knelt again as he said, "Sam…" at Sam's silence Dean placed a hand on Sam's knee and gave it a slight shake.

"What Dean?" He replied without looking at him.

"I mean it, little brother. We have to do what ever we decide to… _together_. You and me… no more solo acts_… agreed_?"

Sam looked at him with hope filled eyes before he quickly shuttered it and told Dean, "Whatever you think, D."

Dean studied him before he shook his head, apparently he was going to have to work on that. _**I can **__work with that_, Dean decided silently as he gave Sam one of his heart melting smiles and stood again, this time pulling Sam up with him.

"Back to work." Dean said as he pushed Sam back the way they'd come only to find Bobby with a beer in one hand and a sandwich in the other as he studied the file that Dean had abandoned.

Bobby looked up and studied them as he took a swig of beer to wash down the bite.

"Find anything?" Dean asked acting like nothing unusual had been going on.

"John mentioned a guy he talked to but that was years ago… and he wasn't very talkative but he believed he knew more than he was saying." Bobby stated as he sat his beer down.

"Why is that not surprising?" Dean asked sarcastically.

Sam sat down and looked at his hands in his lap and waited for someone to talk to him.

A beer smacked down on the table in front of him and sandwich was shoved toward his face. He looked up startled to see Dean smirking at him. Sam was afraid if he opened his mouth to say no it would give Dean an opportunity to shove it in his mouth. So with a sigh he took the sandwich and sat it down in front of him.

"I didn't give you that to look at Sammy, eat up." Dean ordered, then he focused on Bobby once again as he asked, "Find anything new while we were…" His voice faded away as he took a swig of his own long neck.

"Well, yeah…" Bobby said sitting down his sandwich and wiping his hands on his pants leg as he turned back a couple of pages in the file and cleared his throat as he said "Your Daddy mentioned, _Today I researched Brigadoon a 1954 MGM film with Gene Kelly and found out it is adapted from a German short story by Frierdich Gerstacker' called Germelhausen._ Then he says how he thinks Franklin is a similar town. Disappear, reappear…"

"Okay… I read that part already so what now?" Dean asked and glanced worriedly at Sam who still was sitting quietly beside him.

"Well, I asked Pace about the cuffs and he said he will look in some storage boxes in the barn and see… he thinks he remembers John talking about them, but he said he didn't remember seeing them. He's going to ask his wife. She may have taken them and stored them if he'd been busy when John popped by." Bobby paused and let Dean absorb the information he'd just thrown at him. Under the cover of drinking his beer, Bobby let his gaze slid past Dean to Sam. When Sam had decided to do the pit jump, he'd seemed almost relieved, like weights were lifted and now they seemed back again. He really needed to talk to Dean about Sam's state of mind. He was afraid it was fragile and he was on a balance beam at the moment and that they needed to be vigilant so he didn't fall.

"Okay, then… I'll just run up and help him hunt for those and anything else Dad may have left here." He looked at Sam who was still staring at his sandwich, but had yet to take a bite, "Um, Sam, you want stay here and help Bobby?"

Sam looked up and asked, "Do you want me to?"

Dean frowned and tilted his head as studied his little brother, "Um… it's kinda up to you… that's why I asked you what you wanted to do…" Dean said pointedly.

Sam chewed his bottom lip before finally saying, "I'll look through some more files with Bobby." It seemed weird but when he'd made the decision to pit jump, he had a purpose and a way to redeem himself. Now… he wasn't so sure anymore and he felt overwhelmed with confusion.

"Okay. You change your mind and I'll be upstairs in the barn." Dean said studying his little brother a few seconds longer before standing and looking at Bobby.

Bobby gave a slight nod and Dean gave in return a relieved smile, he wasn't sure what was wrong with Sam. But the kid could over think the simplest things and get lost in the big ones. He took a couple of steps before he turned and walked backwards a couple of more steps as he told Sam, "Eat that while I'm gone, dude."

Sam looked at Dean and smiled as he snarked, "You want to feed it to me too?"

Dean gave a shrug as he spread his arms wide saying, "I will if I have to. Not like I haven't done it before."

Sam chuckled for Dean's benefit as he said, "Just go… Bobby's here to watch me."

"Dude, I never…" Dean stopped starting to protest as he started forward towards them.

"Dean. Go, man. I'll be right here when you get back." Sam ordered with a huff.

Dean ran a hand across his lips as he made up his mind, "Okay… but I'm upstairs if you…"

"_Shit, man… just go_. I would have to get past you to go anywhere." Sam said throwing a beer cap at Dean bouncing it off his chest.

Dean looked down at his chest and back up at Sam in mock surprise as he rubbed his chest. Dean pointed at Sam as he said in a serious tone, "Dude… I am so kicking your ass for that."

As Sam frowned, Dean added, "When I get back… _think you can distract me_… eat the damn sandwich or I will feed it to you like I did when you were little." Then he turned and walked away.

Bobby watched as Sam's smile faded and he wilted down into the seat and sat hunched over for several seconds before Bobby cleared his throat.

Sammy looked up at him as if he was worried at what might be coming his way.

"Don't look at me like that." Bobby growled.

"Like what?" Sammy asked softly.

"Like I'm going to kick you while your down." Bobby said with a frown.

"I'm not…" Sam started to argue.

"Sam, you gotta let Dean do this." Bobby informed him softly.

"Why, Bobby?" Sam asked him and then stared at him while he waited for his answer. _Cause yeah, he really wanted to know_.

"Why?" Bobby repeated, struck with the utter _'I'm so lost' _that rang through Sam's question.

"Bobby. " Sammy said with a sigh, "_Look_… all I seem to be good at is hurting my brother… _the ones I love the most_. Maybe this is my chance at redemption."

"Redemption?" Bobby repeated as he frowned.

"I did this and I should pay for it, _not Dean… not you… not the world_." Sam told him frankly.

After a few minutes Bobby took a deep breath and asked, "Do you think you're the only one to fuck up?"

"No… but my… I can't keep doing this to him." Sam whispered.

"How well did you do without him? Hell, how well did _he do without you_?" Bobby growled.

"It's different now. He won't make another deal. I'm not worth it to him… _and I don't want to be_… I mean I want him to love me again but not more than himself." Sam hurried through his words, trying to articulate what he meant before Bobby could react.

"_You damn idjit_. You just can't wrap your head around it can you? He doesn't _want _to go on without you… _you give him this Sam_. You give him a chance to fix this. I mean it." Bobby said his voice shaking as he got up, turned and walked away.

**TBC**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: **Not my unicorns… LoL… I do love them but alas the Queen of the Sandbox can not lay claim to the own-age of the Winchester world.

**NOTE#1: **Sorry about the Thursday non-post. Allergic reaction to my meds. Emergency pickup of the gkids in another state and here I am. 103 degree temps also came with them (for days). And then P.T. Therapy for my Youngest for her EDS and then… (smile) I blew the motor on my truck on the way home… So then, car shopping! (Now beyond broke… passed broke several turns back) Shhhh, don't tell the horrible wreck it monster that I'm still kicking… He might come back for another nibble… So two hours of sleep later and I can't focus so I'm just gonna post this chapter… This is last Thursday's post… I am sooo sorry about this… I am soooo behind on my answering of my fab reviews. Thank you so much for the continued support and favs and alerts as well! You guys rock!

Chapter 7

Sam sat alone in the silence left in Bobby's wake… thinking about what Bobby had said. And even what Dean had said. But he'd done such horrible things. Unimaginable betrayals and even when Dean _should _have killed him… he didn't. Dean had wanted to believe that Sammy would always be _his _Sammy. That Sam was worth all that trust and blind faith. Funny how he didn't realize that Dean had had that kind of faith in him, not just his Dad until it was no longer there. Sam had continued to only disappointed him again and again. _Over and Over_.

He kept failing at saving Dean.

Funny how that was not what had cost him his brother. Not failure but _stupidity_. Everyone always talked about how smart he was… _right, _his brain drawled out. _That's how you all ended up in this… cause you're so smart. _He knew_… He deserved the finale_ he had planned for the bringer of destruction. His road to hell had been paved with good intentions. He laughed harshly. _Sucks to be me… Sucked even worse to be the brother of someone like himself._ Maybe… just maybe he could still rid the world of it's greatest threat (_himself_) and still let Dean have his attempt at fixing things. It was underhanded and if Dean ever figured it out he'd be pissed… but at least he'd be _alive _to be that way and he found he could live with that. And with that he felt the weight suddenly lift off him once again. He felt he could breathe. It was easier knowing he could still fix everything and save Dean too. . . _Finally_ he could save him. He gave a dimpled smile that no one saw.

So by the time Bobby returned the sandwich was gone and Sammy had more files opened and placed randomly around the table. Bobby studied him, not moving as he wondered what Sammy had come up with in his head to get him motivated. He was pretty sure he wasn't going to like it and neither would Dean.

"What?" Sam asked as he glanced up, closing one file and opening another one.

"What is going on in that head of yours, boy?" Bobby asked quietly. Dreading what Sammy may have come up with to _fix_ the situation.

"You're right." Sam said simply as he went back to scanning the file in front of him.

Sam looked up in time to see Bobby's raised eyebrow and explained, "If I didn't let Dean try to find another way, he'd always have that hanging over his head, the guilt would crush him… this way he can move forward." He gave a shrug as he added, "He let me try… _didn't do any good_ but he let me… so how can I allow anything less?"

Bobby frowned as he looked at Sam, not able to help that what he'd just heard to him sounded a lot like a double edged sword in the way Sam had worded it. In fact bulls were running rampant in his china shop of a stomach at the moment.

How could he discuss what he thought was going on with Sam with his brother who was at this very moment frantically trying to find a way to save his baby brother… _again. A brother that Bobby was beginning to suspect didn't want saved at all._

Sam was tapping a pen on the table as he went from one file to another, in between table tapping he was jotting down notes. He set files down as he stood dropping the pencil he moved away from the table.

"Where you going, boy?" Bobby asked suddenly nervous about Sam being out of sight.

"Lucifer section. Working a theory." Sam commented as he moved away, not looking at Bobby.

"Okay…" Bobby said to no one in particular considering he was now by himself.

Meanwhile in the barn Dean was fairing better in his quest. He had located the shackles and his dad's notes on a spell needed to be done so that Lucifer would be trapped in Franklin. He was confused as to why his Dad never followed it through other than the time thing. Or why John never mentioned this to them or at least to him… _he'd stayed_. He'd been there through it all with John and yet he knew nothing about the cache of records and research. Dean looked around feeling guilty. _Sammy had tried_… for awhile he had really tried but Dad had never let up. Finally Sammy had given up and walked away. Sammy never understood Dad's motives and vice versa. Dean was left with all the pieces to fit back into some kind of resemblance of the family he'd once cherished. He laughed harshly, this had sucked from the very beginning… _they'd been doomed… _God he was getting depressed. Dean broke down and called Cas.

"Hello?" Cas said into the phone.

"Cas. I need you to help me with something." Dean said quickly.

"With what?" Cas asked flatly.

"I need you to find me the Indians of the Mound Dwellers. I need a descendant that is from the Kansas tribe… _can you do that for me? _Hopefully one that has knowledge of Franklin, Kansas and the Great Lakes tribe. Oh, and the Bermuda thingy that they used to fight the other tribe." Dean rambled.

"Is that all?" Cas asked with what Dean could have sworn sounded like sarcasm.

"You could come up with a way to shove Lucifer back in the cage for me_, without using Sam to do it. Save my brother for me… can you do that?_" Dean asked his own sarcastic tone dripping all over his words.

"You know I cannot." Cas responded before reminding him, "You have the rings Dean."

"Can not or will not?" Dean snapped anger rolling off him in gigantic waves.

"Dean. I will call you when I find the things you seek." Cas told him dismissively.

"Please hurry. I have a time limit." Dean cut in quickly, afraid he might have angered Cas and lost his chance at help from him.

"Why?" Cas asked, for the first time sounding curious.

"Why hurry?" Dean repeated.

"Why a time limit?" Cas verified.

"Because if we don't find the answers to do it this way, Sam is doing a pit jump in less than a week. And just so you know, it won't be alone." Dean told him firmly, leaving no doubt, he meant what he was saying. It was the last thing he wanted to do… _ever_. But he wasn't letting Sam leave him the way he'd left Sam. Sam thought he'd fucked up without him… Dean couldn't even fathom the destruction he would cause without his little brother to tether him to the straight and narrow.

"I will do my best." Cas told him then hung up.

Dean worried about Cas finding what he needed and he worried about Sam sneaking off and trying to finish this without him. He took the box of his Dad's things and headed back down to Sam and Bobby. He needed to see Sam for himself. Just to make sure he hadn't Houdini'ed himself again.

Dropping the box on the table that was vacant of people at the moment he looked around, he heart thudding painfully in his chest as he listened for Bobby or Sam. He hadn't passed them on the way to the tables. So he raised his voice as he called out, "Sammy?"

"Over here. Lucifer section." Sam replied immediately from somewhere to his right.

But Sam wasn't in the Lucifer section. He was several rows down in a section on the Bermuda Triangle. He had a couple of files and a book about the mound builders.

"So." Dean commented while he read the titles Sam had, he smirked as he said with a wiggle of his eyebrows, "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

"perv." Sam retorted with a smile as he took a step to climb down the ladder, his foot slipping off the rung.

Dean was instantly there to steady him as he said, "Careful, bitch. Sammy I found some more notes in a box from the barn along with the shackles, Dad had them made." He told Sam starting to get excited.

Sam smiled as he handed Dean another stack of books off one of the lower shelves.

Dean said nothing else until they were back to the tables. Then he commented, "I see you ate."

"Yeah, if I hadn't I was liable to see the choo-choo train until it was gone and I'm just not up for that right now." Sam said as he slid for first couple of books off the one he wanted and said, "There's a lot of theories out there as to what the Bermuda Triangle actually is."

Dean was smiling about the choo-choo comment, he chuckled fondly as he remembered the first time he'd tried that on Sam. He wouldn't eat for Dad but fire up the train and he ate everything for his very proud big brother.

"Did you hear me?" Sam asked giving Dean a nudge.

"What?" Dean asked

"I said there are a lot of theories out there about the Bermuda Triangle." Sam repeated with a hint of _Dude, you listening this time? _In his tone.

"And that is important why?" Dean asked as he leaned back on the table.

"_Because. _The power of Bermuda indicates it was taken from that area. A poplar idea besides the whole alien thing is Atlantis is there. I like that one myself." Sam informed his big brother.

"Why?" Dean asked, curious at his little brother's geek side manifesting its self. It'd been awhile. He gave a tiny smile as he looked at Sam.

"Why do I like it?" Sam asked and at Dean's nod continued, "Because they supposedly were highly advanced… so ahead of their times that God or angels under God's command smote them."

"Okay? And you like that? The whole smiting part?" Dean asked with a frown creasing his forehead.

"I'd like for God to step in and smite Lucifer… I'd have liked for him to have saved Dad, _you_… hell it would have been nice if he'd have stepped in and stopped Azazel before it ever began… " He ran a hand through his hair, "But he didn't and this is our…" He sighed.

"Chain around our necks? Burden to bare?…" Dean took a breath in to continue.

"Problem to fix." Sam supplied tiredly.

"Why? Did we ask for this shit? No, we didn't." Dean growled.

"I like the idea of being so far advanced that war and violence were things from history books and that learning was the new sign of the…" Sammy rattled as he tried to steer Dean away from an inevitable eruption of anger if his thoughts weren't derailed.

Dean burst out laughing as he pointed at Sammy, "Geekville…"

"Dean. What did Dad's notes say from the box?" Sam asked, again clearly trying to distract his big brother.

Dean turned and grabbed a stack of papers as he ran a hand through his own hair, a Winchester trait shared by both when worried or frustrated or at this point both.

Dean looked though the papers as he said, "Dad talks about what he thinks the power of Bermuda is and it looks like he decided on the "Bimini Stone" which is a magic crystal that was taken from the seas in the Bermuda triangle from a place called Bimini Road. It's suppose to be of the purest blue... whatever that means. Anyway, what people say may be ruins of Atlantis. _OH_, there's info on exactly what the shackles say… it appears to be a pretty powerful binding spell carved into the iron itself. Not unlike what you did to that ghost with that chain. I guess great minds…" He ended with a smile.

"So, we have the binding spell carved into the shackles… I suppose old Lucy is just going to passively stick out his wrists and _let _us put them on him?" Sam stated crankily.

"No… smartass. There's another one that you say that I guess freezes him, but not for long and then you slap them on him. But the Indians have to let us in… before we can do anything. They are the protectors of the town and…" Dean knew this time he was the one rattling but he wasn't ready for Sam to shoot him down.

"Oh, that's going to be easy." Sam snapped sarcastically.

_Well, would you look at that… ready or not… _Dean sighed, "Actually I got my people working on it." Dean replied.

"Yeah me, you and Bobby." Sam retorted sarcastically.

"Hey, I have more people than that." Dean commented.

"Then you're talking about Cas." Sam retorted. "You didn't tell him where we are did you?" Sam asked.

"Didn't want him tortured for info, so no." Dean informed him.

"Good." Sam said with a nod before going back to reading.

Dean stared at him, _he wasn't letting Sammy go_… the knucklehead was just too thick headed to figure it out yet.

**TBC**


	8. Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER: **Unicorns are escaping! LOL, not mine. 2DB...

**NOTE#1**: I don't know who owns the ghost town of Franklin, Kansas. There is another town of Franklin, alive and well in Kansas. But the one 3 miles from Lawrence is a ghost town. For the purpose of this story, the Indians have a large ranch that includes Franklin… so they can guard the town and keep people safe from it's curse. (Made that up) So I apologize in advance to anyone that lives near Franklin for the curse thing. (Yes, I know… I made that up) Enjoy! Thanks for all the reviews, favs and alerts!

Chapter 8

Bobby heard the boys talking and backed up so they could have some more time. He was worried that soon they wouldn't have that or each other. The uneasy feeling that had taken up residence in his gut hadn't left. "_Balls…", _he muttered angrily, life really sucked at the fair ratio. His boys seemed to be stuck with the shitty unfair side of the stick. When he heard them go quiet he started whistling while he walked slowly back towards them.

They were quietly looking at files as he walked up so he broke the silence when he announced, "Cas called me."

Winchester eyes jerked up to stare at him as Dean wondered aloud, "Why did he call you?" and then at Bobby's glare he asked, "Well? Did he find anything?"

"Can you trust him?" Bobby asked before he added, "Not to rat you out?"

Dean frowned, wrinkling his forehead.

Bobby held his hands up in surrender as he muttered, "Just checkin'. Un wad those panties boy."

Sam snickered as Dean turned and mumbled, "Dude… _really_?"

Sam shrugged as he stated, "D… it was funny."

Dean made one of those '_what the hell ever' _faces but ruined it with a slight grin.

Bobby said with a shrug of his shoulders, "He's located a medicine man, a tribe member descended from the original mound builders. He has spoken to the man and requested his help."

"Oh, shit." Dean moaned as he ran a hand through his hair. If he pulled the whole '_I'm an Angel of lord and I order you' _they probably lost any hope of getting help from the Indians. Then what would he do? _Hello Pit, meet the Winchesters. This is Sam and I'm Dean and we will be your appetizers of the day… _Dean shook his head.

"Apparently the guy has agreed to meet with us." Bobby informed them as he looked over at the boys while he leaned back on the table.

Dean's eyebrows shot up to his hairline it seemed to Bobby as he showed his surprise. He managed a breathy, "When?"

"About 3 tomorrow afternoon at the ghost town of Franklin. Apparently he and his family own a ranch that includes the town of Franklin."

"Interesting." Sammy muttered but he was looking at a book.

"What?" Dean asked, trying to see what Sammy thought was so interesting.

"Well the mound builders had mounds in places all around Lawrence but the closest that this book talks about it a place near Fort Leavenworth that had a large number of mounds in the same area. That place was only about 30 miles from Lawrence. That could be where the original Kansas mound builders came from. If the Great Lakes tribe then settled in the Franklin area it could be close enough to the Kansas tribe to be a threat…" Sam said not looking up from the book he was looking at.

"So, geek boy… we have enough information to go in sounding like we know what we're talking about?" Dean asked, he knew asking Sam's opinion would mean a lot to Sam. It used to be something he did without even thinking, second nature even. Now he did it with more measured caution. At that thought he ran a hand through his hair and tried for a grin. It was sad it had come to this... that_ they_ had come to this. Yeah, he'd been pissed off (_defensive shield for hurt_) and he'd held onto to it for awhile… _not _letting Sam back in. Actually pushing him so far away he left. Then Zachy boy thought sending him to the future would solidify that separation… all it did was clarify the situation for him. What a dick he was without Sam and he didn't want to be that person. He felt himself being shaken. He focused on the face in front of him. _Sammy_. He smiled.

Sammy frowned.

_Huh… why should him smiling cause a frown? _He felt pressure on his upper arms and looked down. _Oh. That explained that… Sam was holding on to him. _Another shake and his eyes traveled back up to Sam's worried eyes. "What?" Dean tried for cranky but it came out squeaky instead.

"You okay?" Sam asked worriedly. Eyes moving up and down, roving… looking for previously hidden injuries.

"Uh… yeah." Dean said with a frown and a blink.

"Don't do that!" Sam snapped as he dropped his hands and then ran a hand through his own hair in frustration.

Dean tilted his head to the side and asked, "Do what…" he swallowed before he continued, "exactly?"

"Go all unresponsive on me. Maybe you should head back to Bobby's and I'll go see this guy." Sam said and he rubbed at his head, making his hair stand on end. He wanted answers. An end to this whole mess he'd created. But he didn't want Dean caught in the middle. Again. No body should pay the price except him. The one Winchester that should never have been born.

Dean stared at Sam's hair standing up all directions and snickered. Snickered right up until the part where his brain caught up with what Sam had just suggested and the smiled dropped away to be replaced with a sneer as he grabbed his little brother by his shirt and yanked him forward until they were again almost nose to nose. Then in a low rumbly voice he snarled, "Just tired, is'all. Quit trying to ditch me. All that would accomplish is pissing me off."

Then he pushed Sam away and stormed off.

Sam looked at Bobby who was intently studying his boots. Up went his hand and with a vicious once through to his hair he snapped in Bobby's general direction, "Well that went well."

Bobby looked at him and told him flatly, "You need to work this out with Dean and get on the same page. You've been in different books since hell... Shit probably since before that… But one of you needs to throw your book away and share with the other. I don't care which one of you does the throwing part but get it fixed. We'll be pulling out at the crack ass of dawn. Fix it before then." Then Bobby stood and walked back behind the tables to a door beside the filing cabinets. "Move your ass, Sam." then he turned opened the door, flipped on the light and as he stepped in he looked over his shoulder. "Now, Sam."he snapped before he went through the door, slamming it shut. Leaning against the door he listened for movement. A minute or two passed before he heard Sam's chair scrape against the cement, indicating he was following orders.

Sam sat a minute or two as he thought about Dean. They both carried so much guilt over their fuckups that sometimes it just felt hard to breathe. _Dean…_ he smiled sadly, _All Dean ever wanted was his family to be together. That's it. When he had that, he was okay with everything else. Sam was the one who wanted the world. He'd been the selfish one. _He sighed, _In the end what did it matter… a college degree? A white picket fence... _He snorted, _No, normal hadn't worked well for him._ His shoulders dropped. _Dean had given everything just to have his family with him. And what had he given Dean… a repeat of walking away or in some cases… sneaking… but Dean was always there yanking him back away from the edge until Sam had almost destroyed him… and then he'd still shown up and pulled him back. _He hadn't even realized he'd moved until he was at the bottom step leading out the way Dean had went with his hand on the railing and one foot on the bottom step.

He grinned, _Yeah they had both changed, but they were still brothers and they still had each other. _

A small dark voice whispered_, Until you find another way to pit jump... Another way to hurt him. _His foot missed a step and he went hard down on one knee.

"Balls." He snapped, not even noticing he was channeling Bobby as he stood and rubbed his knee. _He really needed to pay more attention to his surroundings_, he thought as he limped up the remaining steps.

He didn't find Dean in the barn and he wasn't outside walking around. He turned slowly until his eyes fell on the impala. She gleamed like a beacon. He grinned as he spotted Dean sitting in the driver's seat. Head leaned back… sunglasses on. He knew Dean wasn't asleep. He headed that direction as he thought, _Time to throw my book away_.

He walked over to the drivers side window and looked in.

Dean didn't move.

He tapped on the window.

Dean reached up and slide his sunglasses up and looked under them, turning his head until he saw Sam. He replaced the sunglasses as he said, "Not now, Sam."

He sighed and tapped again as he said, "We need to talk."

"No we don't." Dean replied flatly, looking straight ahead as he once again rested his head back on the seat.

"D… I'm sorry that my book was destroyed the day you died and that I followed a asinine new book that I never should have picked up. I'm sorry that you tried to tell me that and that I didn't listen. I'm sorry that I hurt you so badly that you threw your amulet away and your last tie to me. I'm sorry that…" Sammy continued with his list.

"Shut up, Sam." Dean snapped not moving other than to say that.

Sam swallowed and nodded, turning he let a tear slip down his cheek. He knew he deserved this. But it still hurt. He walked blindly away, not even noticing where he was going.

Dean watched Sam walk away and instantly felt like crap. After a few seconds he sat up and looked around. One minute Sam was there and the next he wasn't. He scrambled for the door handle and shoved the door open, staring the direction he seen Sam disappear from.

Slamming the car door he rushed forward, crossing the driveway and jumping a rail fence he followed the path Sam had taken. He was looking around frantically when he nearly stepped in a hole… _a little brother sized hole_. A hole that his little brother was currently in a heap at the bottom of.

"Sammy!" He yelled, startled into movement as he immediately dropped to all fours and then lay on his stomach as he tried to reach Sam. He couldn't.

"Sammy?" Dean called out again.

No movement and no answering little brother.

"Son of a…" Dean snapped, his worry at maximum as he sat up and yelled, "Bobby!", then remember his cell phone. Patting himself down until he located it, he took it out and hit speed dial 2 and waited impatiently for Bobby to answer.

"You two make up yet?" Bobby snapped, aggravated at the fact that everyone could see the boys devotion to each other… _everyone except them._

"What?" Dean asked, confused.

"Oh, Hi Dean, I thought you were Sammy… where is Sam?" Bobby asked.

"At the bottom of a hole… bring some rope and we're at a 45 degree from the driver's side of the car. Across the fence in that field." then Dean closed his phone and was once again on his stomach and leaning over the edge of the hole. He studied his little brother and realized his fingers twitched.

"Sammy? I need you to wake up… can you do that for me?" Dean asked gently.

No more movement.

"Sammy!" Dean snapped as he sat up and swung his legs over the side. He looked over his shoulder and saw Bobby and Pace heading towards him.

"Bobby!" he yelled and then with a wave he jumped into the hole with Sam.

"Damn it, Sammy… you're bound an determined to pit jump without me. Haven't you realized by now we suck at being on our own?" He was knelt next to Sam feeling for injuries while he continued with his monolog. "Sam I told you to shut up because you've already apologized so many times and I know you're sorry…"

"But you can't forgive me… I know. I won't bring it up again." Sam said as he tried to sit up.

"No bitch. You don't need to bring it up again because I forgive you… so just stop beating yourself up for it, okay?" Dean said as he helped Sam sit up.

Dean watched Sam tear up and smiled, _His boy was back… soulful Sammy_. Aloud he growled, "Don't move."

"Dean. I just got the wind knocked out of me… I'm fine." Sam said softly.

**TBC**


	9. Chapter 9

**DISCLAIMER: **Not Mine… but let's raid a sandbox! Actually THE SANDBOX! Winchester owned... Yeah! Take a right at the tie dye sandbox and circle around the red and blue striped one three times and then hang a left and there will be the Winchester sandbox (shaped like a '67 impala)… really, really. LOL

**NOTE#1: **Posting early. Will be out of town Wednesday through Sunday. I got so much packing to do, ugh! Anyway, here's your Thursday chapter! Hugs, enjoy! See I didn't forget ya!

Chapter 9

Bobby and Pace ran up to the hole and Bobby gasped out, "You boys okay?"

Pace said softly, "Sorry about that… didn't think to warn you about the holes."

"Why do you have holes in your field?" Dean snapped, pissed off that he hadn't been paying attention and Sammy had gotten hurt.

"Zombies of course." Pace told them, he started to blink innocently when Dean glared at him, then a few seconds later he snickered, holding up his hands he said, "No… no. Sorry. Not really. Just joking."

Dean glared at him as he snapped, "Not fucking funny, man."

Pace sobored instantly as he agreed, "You're right. It's for the survivalist rally we have every spring. Hunters from all over come for it."

"I thought only an elite few knew about the library?" Dean stated with a frown.

"Only a few do. Our cover is a survivalist training center… ya know in case you get lost in the woods… fall in a hole… " He shrugged with a small grin.

Bobby looked at Sammy as he winced while trying to stand causing Bobby to repeat his question, "Sammy, you okay?"

Sam glanced quickly at Dean before he said, "Yeah, just winded."

Dean snapped, "Yeah that's why you have a goose egg on your forehead and blood running down the side of your face." he then latched onto Sam and helped his stand.

As Sam swayed on his feet, Dean wrapped an arm around him and held him upright.

"It's nothing D. I'm fine. Really… I'm just a clutz. You know that." Sam insisted.

"Sam. Don't lie to me. Especially when I can clearly see you aren't." Dean stated sternly.

"But wouldn't you do the same thing?" Sam questioned before huffing out, "Besides, It's not a big deal."

"That's different. I'm the big brother." Dean declared. "And it is a big deal, Sammy."

Pace let out a bellowing laugh and when all eyes turned to him, he declared, "Man, John couldn't deny these two were his even if he wanted to."

Bobby smiled as he nodded in agreement.

A little grin played on Dean's lips until he looked at Sam and his eyes were closing, "No you don't little brother… no sleeping just yet."

"D… I just realized how… " He yawned as he finished, "I'm tired." Sam mumbled his head falling forward and his weight shifting slightly towards Dean.

"Sammy?" Dean was asking as he took his already going down little brother down to the bottom of the hole once again. "Come on… what did I just tell you?" Dean sighed, Sam was out for the count. He checked on breathing and pulse and then looked up at Bobby who was kneeling above them.

"I'm going to lift him up to you and then you take him… he's not light so don't drop him back in here on me." Dean said as he watched Bobby shake his head as he muttered, "idgits."

Dean smiled as he stood bringing Sam up with him, cradling him a second before lifting him like an offering to the gods. He shook his head… _not going there_. He was grateful that they took him quickly and gently.

Once Bobby and Pace had taken Sam he stood on the log on the bottom and jumped up, bracing his hands on the ground and pushing himself up and out of the hole.

Bobby was holding Sam as he waited for Dean. Dean quickly placed himself in front of Bobby and brushed Sam's bangs back before he stretched out his arms as he said, "I'll take him."

"Dean I got him." Bobby argued.

"He's my brother. I'll take him." Dean said sternly, staring Bobby down.

Bobby nodded as he said softly, "okay boy." and gently placed Sam into Dean's arms.

Once they finally made it back down to the little apartment and had Sam laid out on the bed, Dean looked wearily at Bobby. "I gotta wake him up and check for a concussion."

"But he sounded okay when we came up he was talking to you." Bobby reasoned.

"And what the kid suddenly developed…" Dean stopped and ran a hand through his hair as he said softly, "kid hasn't been sleeping, he's eat up with guilt and I haven't made that any easier on him."

"Dean don't… he knows you love him and he loves you. You both have fucked up in the past… no let's just work on fixing this mess without either of you dying this time if you don't mind." Bobby growled.

Dean swallowed hard, blinking back tears as he admitted tiredly, "I'm not ready to lose him… I just can't… _I won't_." He said stubbornly jutting his chin out in such a young Dean pose that Bobby had to swallow back tears himself.

Bobby nodded, _He'd known for sometime the world was broken but he also knew that as long as the boys were together there wasn't nothing they couldn't do… despite all the angels and demons trying to convince them otherwise. _He knew now was the time to give Dean something he'd carried around for a long time.

He reached into his front jean pocket and pulled out the valued object that Sam had intrusted into his care and dangled it in front of Dean.

The stubborn lilt of Dean's face fell away, first the stubborness was replaced by confusion. He seemed to have frozen to the spot as he looked at Bobby and then back to the slowly swinging object as he breathily asked, "Where did you get that?"

Bobby stood there watching Dean.

Dean stood rooted to the spot in front of Bobby as he swallowed and repeated his question, "Where did you get it?"

Bobby glanced toward the bed and then back to Dean's face.

Dean's gaze followed Bobby's. He finally managed to whisper, "Sammy?"

Bobby gave a hint of a smile.

Confusion was once again the main contender for the emotion of the moment as he mumbled, "But… but when? I mean he… he never…"

Bobby told him gently, "He dug it out of the trash and brought it to me."

"Why?" Dean asked as he sat down gently on the bed still watching the amulet swing back and forth. The amulet he'd thrown away in anger… anger at dead beat dads and little brothers.

"Because he wasn't ready to give up on you and him. Haven't you figured that out yet? He wanted his brother back and if the only thing he could have of him was the part he'd given up on… _thrown away_… he was willing to take that." Bobby told him frankly without any sugar coating.

Dean tried to contain a sob but only managed to sound even more like a strangled cat.

"Dean… he's not holding a grudge and you don't need to either. If I was a betting man, I'd say that angels played a part in that whole heaven fiasco. Come on… think about… even the ones chosen for you were wonky except for the whole 4th of July one. Tell me honestly, you'd have picked your mom and dad fighting? Or Sam wouldn't have had you or his Jess… he was going to marry her… and you… wouldn't it have had your dad or Sam more than once…. It was a puppet show meant to drive a wedge between you two. _AND_ if I had to guess it's been going on a lot longer than we've been thinking. So… are you going to take this or not?" He gave it a shake causing it to swing wildly.

Dean bowed his head.

"Seriously? Dean you could lose…" Bobby started, confused at Dean's reluctance at taking his amulet.

Dean's head shot up as he stood and stepped angrily towards Bobby as he snarled, "I fucking know exactly what's at stake Bobby." He glanced over his shoulder, _once again little brother's head was on the chopping block. _

Bobby nudged Dean's chest with his fist. He knew it was like pushing a bear but he needed everyone on the same page and he was tired of all the pussy footin' around.

Dean's hand shot up and he snatched the amulet out of Bobby's hand as he snarled, "I regretted throwing the damn thing away within the hour of doing it but we were so fucked up that I… I just left it alone." His hands dropped to his side and he held on to the amulet as he felt it tap his leg as it swung back and forth. His head dropped once again as he tried to get his emotions under control.

"Boy." Bobby said softly.

Dean shifted his shoulders as he slowly raised his head to look at Bobby.

"I think it will help you both to have it back where it belongs."

"What did he tell you to do with it?" Dean asked softly as he felt oddly comforted by the weight of the amulet dangling from his hand.

"Does it matter?" Bobby asked quickly.

Dean growled in frustration at Bobby.

Bobby chuckled before he sobered, "He wanted me to keep it so nothing would happen to it… he said one day… one day you would need it back and I would know when."

"He left it up to you to decide?" Dean asked oddly saddened by that.

"He said that both of you were so fucked up that he wanted someone not being fucked with by either angel or demon to keep it safe." Bobby told him.

Dean nodded before he asked, "Can I keep it?" He swallowed before continuing, "Wear it?"

Bobby asked him frankly, "Do you want it? How do you feel about you… about him?"

Dean looked once again to Sammy before he turned to face Bobby again, "I know that sacrificing ourselves to bring the other back… hurts the one left behind… so I won't do any more deals."

Bobby looked upset but Dean held up his hand, "But that doesn't mean I'm going to let him fight alone. I'm doing this with him. Win or loose. It's got to be us… together."

"Dean put it on." Bobby told him with a smile. "You both need that part of you back."

Dean smiled eyes glistening as he looked down as he raised his hand up and stared at the black cord for several seconds.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: **Not mine… **DITH! **All Hail Kriepke! Not really, we love the amazing imagination of the brilliant man! (Yes, we… me and myself and I or maybe just the mouse in my pocket)

**NOTE #1: You all are awesome! Thank you for your patience, reviews, favs and alerts! **I am back home and ready to write...

Chapter 10

Slowly Dean's empty hand came up to meet his other hand and he gently placed the amulet back where it belonged. He stood stock still for several more seconds as he just… felt the hum of it singing through his body. It felt... right to be hanging there. It was heavy, a comfortable weight he hadn't even realized the extent of the missing of it until it was back where it belonged. He never should have let Cas talk him into taking it off in the first place. He shook his head as he looked up and smiled as he murmured, "Thanks, Bobby." Then once again he gaze gravitated to the amulet.

"I think this will convince Sam more than anything not to do something stupid." Bobby said softly.

Dean's head jerked up from staring at the amulet, his hand automatically went to touch where it lay on his chest. He hissed, "What do you mean?" as he stared intently at the older hunter.

Bobby sighed, _He hadn't meant to say __**that **__out loud, it had just slipped out_.

"Has he said something to you?" Dean demanded, looking back to his sleeping brother. His pain in the ass little brother that always tugged at his heart strings.

"Not in so many words but I think he feels he still needs to atone for what he did." Bobby said, keeping his promise of not telling Dean certain things but still getting it out there where hopefully Dean would want to fix it.

"He needs to… but so do I." Dean rubbed at his hair before he added, "But I'm not going to let him atone for it with his life. We're done sacrificing. And if we're not it's going to be together."

Bobby looked in pain, a pinched look crossing his face. "Idjit." Bobby finally managed before he stalked over and gave Dean a slight shake, "I'm not ready to lose either one of you… so knock it off!"

"Hey Bobby I just said We. Are. Done sacrificing… so why are…" Dean started only to have Bobby hit him with his baseball cap as he snapped, "And you ended with you'll do it together." he finished putting his cap back on his head and stepping away, he hadn't meant to lose it at that particular moment. But he was tired of them being so ready to give up and leave him alone. _He been there and he'd done that_… and _HE _wasn't doing it again anytime soon. He turned and walked out of the room. This was more draining emotionally than he ever imagined when he first got involved with the Winchesters. _But_, he admitted to himself, _it was so worth it to get to be a part of the boys' lives_.

Dean watched Bobby walk from the room and turned to watch Sammy. He walked over to his little brother. He'd make it right with Bobby later.

He needed to be close to Sammy. His stupid, brave little brother who he needed more than air. He sat down next to Sam and nudged him. He didn't wake up. He'd never been good with waiting on Sam to wake. Not when he was just sleeping and especially not when waking from an injury. So he lifted Sam's hand by his wrist and let it flop onto the bed. That used to really irritate Sam when he was younger.

Sam moaned and tried to turn over.

Dean leaned in and said loudly, "Sammy!"

Sammy sat straight up looking wildly around.

Dean had to lurch backward to avoid getting a head butt from Sammy. He leaned back too far, pinwheeled his arms and still landed on his back on the floor.

Sam looked around panting as he searched for … the sudden thump on one side of his bed had him looking over the side. He questioned in a surprised voice, "Dean?"

"Hey, what's up little brother…" Dean said sounding winded but he still managed a cocky grin.

Sammy smiled big enough to see his dimples as he snarked, "Apparently not you."

"Har D har har…" Dean grumbled back as he scrambled to his feet and leaned in to look at Sammy's pupils. The same. Awesome… most likely no concussion.

"How about we check out that bump again?" Dean asked.

Sam stared at him frozen… only he seemed to be staring at his chest. Dean frowned as he watched Sam as he started to pant… _was he going to hyperventilate?_

"Sammy… what the hell is wrong with you?" He asked reaching forward only to have Sammy scramble backward as he demanded, "Where the hell did you get that?" Sam demanded pointing.

Dean looked, oh the amulet… _okay _he thought silently, _Not the reaction he was hoping for_. He bit his lip as he looked at Sam before he whispered, "Bobby gave it to me… I wished you would have though." He continued to bite his lip a second before he blurted out, "Were you ever going to?"

Sammy blinked back tears, _this was not how he'd pictured this going_. "I haven't been able to trust me for a long time. My judgment sucks… so I gave it to Bobby. I trust his judgment."

"What about my judgment?" Dean asked quietly. "Why didn't you talk to me about it?" Dean asked, not meaning for the hurt to seep through.

Sammy shook his head no.

Dean raised his eyebrows.

Sam sighed and blurted out, "You threw it away. I deserved it I know it but… I… you didn't want it back and I didn't know if you ever would… I didn't think I could handle it if I gave it back and you threw away again… it hurt too damn bad the first time." He turned away and climbed out of bed trying to put distance between himself and Dean.

"Sammy." Dean whispered. The tone he used had Sammy turning and stepping toward him before it registered he'd moved at all.

Dean hit his knees and bowed his head.

Sammy bolted to him, falling to his knees in front of him. "D?" he whispered, reaching out to place a hand on his brother's shoulder.

Dean tried not to move. He refused to cry. _Winchesters don't cry. Winchesters don't cry. __Winchesters don't cry… _he chanted in his head.

Sam felt his brother shaking anyway and used his free hand to force Dean to look at him.

Tears ran freely as he tried to hold back the sobs. _So much for Winchesters not turning into weepy girls,_ Dean's mind supplied.

"D?" Sam repeated. "Do you want it?"

Dean nodded but tried to pull away.

Sammy sighed in relief as he finally felt he could admit some of his fears, he said softly, "A nightmare of mine has been that I'd wake up one of these days and you'd be wearing it… having found it in one of my bags and then you'd…" He stopped, swallowed hard a few times his voice cracking as he said, "And then you'd tell me you didn't want it and you'd throw it away again, only this time… I got thrown away too…"

Dean body shuddered before he finally looked his little brother in the eye, "Sammy I know I've said shit… but I'm not okay with losing you. I can't just sit back and let you go. I know I said I was tired… but I'm not _that _tired. And I want to earn back your trust."

"What? I trust you." Sammy argued.

"Just not with my own amulet." Dean commented, trying to reign in his emotions.

"You did…" Sammy started.

"Okay… okay." Dean said as he held his hands up in surrender. "You win… but I'm keeping it."

Sammy pulled him into a hug.

"Dude… get off me… you've had your quota of chick flick shit to last a lifetime…" He said as he hugged him back.

"You started it." Sam stated.

"Did not." Dean mumbled into Sam's shoulder.

"Did too." Sam said as he pulled away.

"I fucking so did NOT!" Dean exclaimed with a smile.

"jerk." Sam said as he stood and held out a hand to help Dean up from the floor.

"bitch!" came the standard reply as he clasp hands and let Sam pull him to his feet.

A couple of hours later Bobby found them passed out in the queen sized bed leaving him the twin… _freakin' figures_, he thought with a smile. He took out his phone and took a couple pictures of them sleeping. _No he was not a stalker… _but it was a rare moment in time; unguarded. They both were sleeping on their backs, shoulders barely touching. Basically matching positions with one foot under the covers and the other above.

He sat in the chair across the room and watched them. _Again not stalkerish. _They needed the peace for one night. And if he had anything to say about it they were going to get it. Cause morning was going to come early.

**TBC**


	11. Chapter 11

**DISCLAIMER: **Not mine sadly but Sandbox Hopping rocks! I borrow, but I have to return when I am done... (tears)

**NOTE#1: **The Kaw Indians are one tribe of Kansas. I chose them because they were around the area of the mounds in Kansas. So I made them descendants of the Mound Builders. I could not find information to confirm it so I thought I'd mention it here. Again I do not intend to offend anyone. The name of the medicine man is actually Kaw translated. I want to thank everyone for their reviews, favs and alerts. Today was spent being fitted for ankle braces (my youngest) and hubby doctor visit. So, I'm sorry for the late-age. Onward -à smiles y'all! Also before I forget since this is AU, Cas will be as well. (hiding out from other angels wasn't in this episode 5.22)

Chapter 11

Bobby was right; morning came way too damn early. An hour after waking up they were on the road. Their research in the trunk and a promise to Pace of returning everything with their own notes after they were done. _If they survived_, Dean thought silently unaware of Sam's similar thoughts about not coming back.

"He's diligent I'll give him that." Sam stated, breaking the silence. Not giving those thoughts of betraying Dean anymore time. Because if he dwelled too much on it, Dean would figure out something was bugging him and he would relentlessly hound him until he spilled his guts, telling Dean everything. He couldn't afford to do that. Not with Dean's life on the line.

"Yeah. But he's got an important job. This is several mens' lifetime works. Everything of Jim and Calebs' and of course the Campbell collection; that was several generations of work… you boys should really take a look, it rivals any library in the country." Bobby commented.

Dean got a sour look on his face.

Bobby added, ignoring the _I sucked on a lemon _look that Dean leveled at him, "Like Deanna Campbell's journals. I think those would interest you. As well as Mary's."

Dean's face marooned instantly as he snapped, "I don't want strangers reading grandma and mom's stuff."

Sammy stared open mouthed at Dean; he had never said grandma in those terms before.

"What?" Dean growled at his little brother.

"Well you never called…" Sam stopped to swallow loudly, went silent for a few seconds before starting again, "I mean…"

"Sammy… she was a nice lady. She'd have spoiled your ass so rotten…" Dean shook his head.

"Which one?" Sammy asked, curious at the rare moment of openness from Dean.

"Well… Both of them… you'd have been useless." Dean said with a chuckle as he spared his little brother a glance. Secretly taking a second to study Sam. He was kinda pale, raccoon eyed like he hadn't been sleeping much. Hell, neither one of them had in all honesty.

"Jerk." Sammy muttered under his breath.

"Those journals aren't out for public viewing… besides not many know about the Hunter's Library… all the old ones are gone…" Bobby said sadly.

"Well you're not." Dean snapped with a tone that implied he wouldn't be going anywhere either. His glare into the rearview mirror seconded Dean's words.

Bobby chuckled as he said, "Now the knowledge has passed on to the next generation."

Sammy turned and looked at Bobby while Dean snarled never taking his eyes off the man in the backseat, "No it hasn't… no freakin' torch has been passed so get that shit out of your head right now."

Bobby stared at Dean for a second before he muttered fondly, "Idgits… watch the road boy."

Dean gave a smile that didn't reach his eyes as he switched back to watching the road ahead before he changed the subject, "Has Cas called with more information?"

"Yeah, He said the guy's name is… Mika Yoxe… I looked it up. It means Raccoon… Reddish Yellow Buffalo. I think he said it's been English-shnized to Mike Yoke." Bobby readily supplied.

"English-shnized?" Sammy repeated with a smirk.

"Okay…" Dean said slowly.

"You know… Americanized…" Bobby corrected himself. Dean apparently wasn't in the teasing mood and the joke went over his head. When Dean had been about eight years old he had used that word and he'd found it hilarious. So he went around finding reasons to say English-shnized. _Oh, well_… he thought _Dean was a little stressed at the moment_ so he continued, "I guess he's from the Kaw or Kanza Indian tribe. They are members of the Dhegihe. (they-gee-hah)" Bobby stated informatively. Saying the word and then saying it again slowly, sounding it out for the boys' benefit. He had hours to study the information because sleep had evaded him most of the night.

"You're saying that like you think I need to remember that." Dean said with a glance in the rear view mirror.

"It'd probably be a good idea not to piss the guy off as soon as we meet him." Bobby commented.

"Kaw Indians… I heard of the Osage, Pawnee and Omaha in the plains… but…" Sam started to say but Dean interrupted. "I thought all the Indians were American."

Sam just looked at him blankly.

Dean grinned, "It was a joke." he declared at Sam's expression.

"Dude… you're weird." Sam snarked.

"bitch just because…" Dean started, because arguing was a damn fine distraction from what they were headed into.

"Hey, you wanna focus for two seconds…" Bobby snapped sitting up and leaning on the seat between them.

"Dude… unwad your panties…" Dean commented dryly.

"Boy…" Bobby snapped in frustration.

"Okay…" Dean said before he added, "Go ahead O wise one."

Bobby ignored him as he said, "When we get there try to be respectful… can you do that?"

"Dude, I am the epitome of respect." Dean said with a straight face.

"pit o' shit…" Bobby muttered, frustrated he sat back and crossed his arms.

Sam burst out laughing.

Dean glanced over at him and smiled. It was nice to hear Sam laugh. Then he glanced in the rearview mirror as he asked, "So why are you so worried about me messing this up?"

"I'm worried about _us_ messing up. We got one shot at this and this guy… _he's it_." Bobby stated bluntly.

Dean nodded. He knew that and he was nervous as hell. He couldn't mess this up. He said softly, "Mika Yoxe… he's the Kaw medicine man… owns the ranch that includes the town of Franklin. He agreed to help us after Cas asked him… exactly what did Cas say?"

Bobby shrugged as he said, "Cas said he's working on something on his end but doesn't want to say anymore right now."

"What the hell does that mean?" Dean snapped before he added, "And why the hell didn't he call me back with this information?"

"He said he tried your number and he got the annoying you voice that isn't you." Bobby said.

Dean just shook his head and looked over at Sammy and was surprised to find him asleep. He reached over to shake his shoulder when he phone rang. He sighed, dropped his hand away from Sam and answered it.

"Where are you?" Cas demanded instantly.

"In my car…" Dean started to say.

"Where are you?" Cas repeated.

"Why?" Dean asked as he pulled over to the side of the road.

"I need to speak with you… _now_." Cas stated urgently.

"Dude, you are." Dean commented.

"No… in person." Cas argued.

"Hwy 71. Just outside…" Dean was saying when the swoosh happened and Cas was suddenly in the backseat beside Bobby. "Okay." Dean finished dragging out the word and closing his phone.

"So, What's up?" Dean asked, turning around and looking at Cas.

"I need to get you there faster." Cas stated and then to clarify informed Dean, "I need to drive."

"Uh, no." Dean snapped, giving him a look like he was an idiot.

"Dean… I will take you… either I zap you there or I drive you there… _faster_." Cas stated.

"Why the urgency?" Bobby asked as he saw Sam sit up and yawn.

"My superiors are getting suspicious and they are putting a guard on me… well as soon as they find me… right now my allies are masking me… so I have to hurry." Cas said quickly.

"Okay… I guess you drive?" Dean stated but looked at the others.

Sam shrugged and Bobby sighed. In a blink Dean was in the middle and Cas was in the driver's seat. Suddenly the car was rocketed through the countryside at almost supersonic speeds.

Dean said worriedly, "Can you even see where you're going at this speed?"

Sam had paled considerably and was death gripping the dash.

Bobby was mumbling in the back about getting carsick.

"Not in my baby…" Dean threw back towards Bobby who gave him a very clear _go to hell_ look.

**TBC**

**TiNyNoTe: **Hunter's Library - I wrote this before the start of S8... I knew nothing of the MOL Library at the time... great minds... okay okay stop laughing! LOL


	12. Chapter 12

**DISCLAIMER: **Not mine… too bad.

**NOTE #1: **As it so happens… I will either post on Thurs or Friday. I use to be able to do it on a certain day only but… life has been unpredictable. Daughter finished P.T. only to mess up her wrist… on top of MRIs for hubby, earaches and migraines for me. Life has taken over my play time. Rub an eye with my fist… I'm sooo cranky… LOL, I'm sorry for not posting yesterday and thus coming to the decision of the two day spread-age…So, anyway more importantly, I want to thank everyone for the reviews, favs and alerts! Adore them!

Chapter 12

About half an hour later they came to a screeching halt and it jolted everyone forward.

Cas smiled as he told them, "You are here. Now I will introduce you." A second later he disappeared from the car.

Dean held his stomach as he asked, "Anyone else feel the hurl-age?"

Sammy pushed open his door as he nodded and then threw up just outside the door.

Dean commented as he scooted towards his driver's door, "So lucky that wasn't my baby you just hurled all over."

Bobby was just climbing out if the backseat as he muttered, "My god… we are driving back normal or I'm going to kill you, Dean."

"_ME_?' Dean asked looking up surprised, "Why me? Cas did it." Dean informed him crankily.

"He's your damn angel… not mine." Bobby growled right back.

"He's not mine…" Dean looked around and not seeing Sammy hurried around to Sam's side of the car, "You okay, Sammy?"

Sammy was still puking to which Dean commented, "Dude… gross." but he still walked over and rubbed circles on Sam's back.

Sammy finally stood up with Dean's help as he looked around. They were parked in front of an old cemetery. "Nice." he muttered sarcastically.

Dean followed his gaze and gave an involuntary shiver as he looked across the roof of the car at Bobby.

"Where did Cas go?" Dean asked, silently saying to Bobby, _we are winning this_.

Bobby nodded as he asked, "Hey, kid… you okay?"

Sam gave a small groan as he replied, "Yeah and I agree with you, we go home at normal speeds."

Dean smiled, _so now Sammy was thinking about going home_, he pat him on the back as he commented, "That's the attitude."

"What?" Sam asked, straightening up completely and looking at his brother.

With a slap on the back and a "that's my boy." from Dean, Sam grinned at him in return.

Cas walked up with an older gentleman that was studying them as they walked up to the trio. Bobby had moved to stand beside the boys.

Mr. Yoxe held out his hand and as Bobby shook hands he said, "So you are these boys Uncle?"

Bobby nodded but Dean interrupted, "He's been more like a dad."

Mr. Yoxe raised an eyebrow as he said, "So you two are destined to save the world."

Dean's head swiveled to stare at Cas with a _have you lost your freakin' mind _glare.

Mr. Yoxe chuckled as he responded, "We Kaw are quite open minded considering the land you are standing on… I think we have to be."

Sam smiled as he stretched his hand out to shake Mr. Yoxe's hand.

Mr. Yoxe smiled and said, "Just call me Yoxe." As he shook Sammy's hand he studied his face as he told him bluntly, "You are wrong. You are not evil. A pawn in a deadly game but not evil."

Sam jerked his hand away and rubbed it on the leg of his jeans.

Yoxe smiled as he moved on to Dean, "Just as you are not a failure."

Dean jerked his head just in time to see Sam jerk his gaze to him. "What the hell?" he uttered irritated.

"You need to know these things to move forward with your plans… you need to believe it." Yoxe informed them as he turned to Bobby as he added, "And you have been a good father."

"Okay… knock that off. It's bad enough when Cas does it." Bobby growled crankily.

Yoxe smiled as he said calmly, "I know this is difficult for you all… but what you are trying to do is noble. I'm guessing you need people on your side. I believe that is why God has sent you to me. To even the playing field."

"So _now_… he steps in?" Dean asked, just to make sure he was understanding correctly what the man was saying.

"He has not went on vacation if that's what you mean." Yoxe stated bluntly.

"And you know this how?" Sam asked curiously.

"He told me." Yoxe stated.

"_Oh, hell no_." Dean snapped. This guy _talks_ with God...

"Why is that so hard to believe?" Yoxe asked.

Dean was suddenly in the man's face and poking the guy in the chest as he snapped, "The hell we've been through… we were told by his "_right hand_" man that he was no longer interested, and that's been more than plain…"

"He lied. Angels and Demons are working together for a common goal and that is to set in motion something that is not what God wants." Yoxe stated calmly.

"Then why doesn't he stop them?" Sam asked.

"That's what we are going to do." Yoxe declared firmly.

"I don't understand." Dean muttered. Because... _yeah, God talks to certain people but not others... Not him... and not Sam who prayed and had faith God would answer him..._

"You will." Yoxe declared.

Dean looked at Cas and snapped, "You promised to help me."

"That's what I'm doing, Dean." Cas stated firmly, tilting his head to the side as he asked, "Why are you so angry?"

Dean turned and walked away, going to the fence surrounding the cemetery and holding on to a rail as he leaned down trying to not have a panic attack… _they were so screwed_.

**TBC**


	13. Chapter 13

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own anything except the blot bunnies and I think more often than not they own me…

**NOTE:** I kept most of the Kaw Indian and Franklin town info as authentic as possible. I did add liberties (The Great Lake Mound Builders and Indians owning and guarding Franklin) Realizing God has plans for you that you can't grasp the meaning of, reason for it, the why of it is a common thing I think. Also, Libs taken with Cas... Anyway, here's the next chapter. Thanks ya'll for the favs, reviews and alerts!

Chapter 13

Sam walked up and asked Dean softly, "A little faith?"

"Are you asking me to have some? Or _if I do_?" Dean asked as he watched Sam, eyes narrowing as he waited for Sam's response.

Sam gave a tilt of his head and a tiny shrug as he said, "Maybe both…"

"Sam… I tried to do that. I've tried and I just can't anymore… it's too hard." Dean admitted as he turned, he stared out at the graveyard. Under his breathe he whispered, "I'm tired."

"To have faith in me or in God?" Sam asked as he too turned to stare at the silent graves.

"Sam… I'm here aren't I?" Dean asked sounding bone weary. He looked at the sky, it's washed out blue going along with the way he felt. It fit the mood he was in to a tee.

Sam chuckled as he commented, "You wanted this. If you've changed your mind we can move forward with the…"

Dean slugged him on the arm as he snapped, "Shuddup, bitch."

"Dean, seriously man… anytime you've had enough it's okay to walk away." He gave a harsh chuckle as he watched his brother, he continued, "Lord knows I've done it enough."

Dean turned fully to face Sam as he stated, "Remember… _we_ tried that." He waved his index finger between them before he looked down and then away as he added softly, "The world crashes and burns." Dean finally glanced up, giving Sam an intense glare.

"I remember that…" Sam started.

"No." Dean snapped. He turned to face the others as he raised his voice to make up for the distance, "Where do we go from here?" He asked the group but he focused on Yoxe as he stalked back towards them. Sam watched as Dean and Yoxe stepped away from the group. A few seconds later he was right behind Dean.

Yoxe responded with a smile as he said, "Well, why don't we walk as we talk. I'll show you around." With this suggestion the whole group moved with Dean and Yoxe.

As they walked the old white farmhouse stood out as one of the lone structures, Yoxe started out with, "Before it became a town in October of 1853 it was a battle ground between the Great Lake Mounders and the Kansas ones. We eventually won but at great cost to both sides. The toll was not recognized fully until after Franklin came and went. But it goes on even today."

"Wow and I thought Cas was Mr. Gloom and Doom." Dean said softly as he looked around taking in the tall swaying grass.

"Dean." Sam snapped as he smacked him. When Dean glared at him he mouthed, "You promised."

Yoxe smiled as he told Sammy, "Cut him some slack… he's just worried."

Dean smirked as he muttered, "Yeah… cut me some slack."

Bobby hit him with his hat before slapping it back on his head.

Cas looked at Bobby as he asked, "Why did you do that?"

Bobby chose to ignore Cas' question.

"Franklin was a pro-slavery stronghold that's between the Kansas and Wakarusa Rivers. It was one of the oldest settlements in Kansas and it was one of our trading posts in Douglas County long before it was a county. But before that it was a our hunting grounds. We also set up camp here at times. Before the Great Lake Mounders came and tried to take it away. They invoked a terrible evil to help them win against us, forcing us to take action. What we ended up doing was not unlike your Lucifer's cage. But we were given our sacred stone and it was our key. Our saving grace so to speak. We were able to put the evil back but not without there being a great price paid. That is why my family stays… so the sacrifices are not in vain." Yoxe stopped for breath and ended up next to another fence and stood staring out across the land.

"So, just how much has Cas told you?" Dean demanded with a glare Cas' direction.

"Enough to know that you need my help and the help of our ancestors to succeed." Yoxe stated firmly.

"God, he sounds like Missouri… doesn't he?" Dean asked with a glance at Sam.

Sam gave a brief smile and a small nod.

"So, would you like to know why your father was turned down by mine?" Yoxe asked bluntly.

Dean stared at Yoxe as he said softly, "Yeah... I do. Get all that out of the way up front."

Yoxe gave a small smile before he began, "I was a small boy when your father came and spoke with mine. He tore out of here in that car over there, throwing dirt and roaring out of here. My father asked me if I wanted to know why he wouldn't help the man… I said yes." He watched Dean start to fidgit and continued, "My father said that the man was heartbroken and very angry. He also said the man wanted to catch a demon, but he wasn't prepared and when my dad said he would not raise the town early for anything less than the devil himself." He smiled and said, "Let's just say your dad had a temper."

"But why did he refuse him… taking out that demon would have saved a lot of lives." Dean snapped as he thought of all him and Sammy alone had endured at the hands of the demon.

"God told him that he was to help the Winchesters." Yoxe responded.

"Then why didn't he?" Dean questioned.

"By sending the elder away… he did help. He did what God wanted. But he told me that when this man's sons came for help… I was not to refuse them. I was to remember that God wanted me to help the sons when the time came." Yoxe said as he watched the oldest.

Dean frowned as he stood studying the man_. Was this man yanking his chain or just fucking with him for the hell of it?_

"So you've been waiting for us to show up and ask for help?" Sam asked wanting clarification.

Yoxe nodded.

"Bullshit." Dean snapped and stormed off again. _Faith… _he sighed. _Sam had had faith and look how well that had worked out. For Sam. For him._

Sam frowned and took off after Dean.

Bobby looked at Yoxe and Cas and said, "You know he's just upset, he'll come around."

Yoxe nodded as he told Bobby, "Yeah, he's here to save his little brother. He'll do what needs to be done. Just like you and I will."

Cas said out of the blue, "I need to go… they are looking for me."

At the same time Sam was still trying to catch up with Dean, finally stopped and yelled, "Dean!"

Dean stopped and turned as he asked, "What?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Sam asked catching up. He grabbed Dean by the arm to hold him in place.

"Do you know what this means?" Dean demanded angrily.

"What?" Sam asked softly.

"It means that God let all this happen." Dean yelled as he jerked away from Sam to wave his arms wildly. He stepped closer to Sam and latched onto Sam's upper arms, "He wanted us to suffer." Dean snapped, tears appearing in his eyes causing him to nearly explode with anger. _Dammit, he was not going to cry like a damn five year old!_

Sam frowned.

"He let us go through all that. If the guy had helped Dad none of it would have happened." Dean went on, letting his hands drop away from Sam. His fists almost instantly clenched and he looked around for something to hit.

"Or, " Sam said before continuing, "It may have just altered who it happened to."

"Either way that would have been a win." Dean snapped, focusing once again on Sam.

"Really?" Sam asked, his eyes searching Dean's face.

Dean got even more pissed off as he asked, "What the hell are you trying to say Sammy?"

"Just that maybe things happened the way they were suppose to." Sam said as he watched Dean, at the moment he looked like a steaming powder keg ready to blow everything sky high.

"Fuck that!" Dean snapped ramming a hand through his hair, making it stand on end as he pointed a finger at Sam, "So we had to go through that… why?"

Sam shrugged as he said honestly, "I don't know but I've heard that God doesn't give us more than we can handle."

Dean snorted as he said, "I disagree with that."

"Pastor Jim once told me to watch you and follow you… one day you would be a great man… that you would be tested by what God gives you to endure but you would do well. He was right."

"He was not." Dean denied automatically.

"Dean…" He grabbed Dean by the shoulders and looked him in the eye as he continued, "You are a good man and if you want to walk away right now… I will follow. _You decide_." He dropped his hands and waited for Dean's decision.

**TBC**


	14. Chapter 14

**DISCLAIMER: **Not mine… well at least not mine since I woke up… A gal can dream right? Kriepke's Land, I know… so sad.

**NOTE#1: Okay… **I went on vacation… Our plans didn't workout… we ended up with temporary custody of my great nephew (He sounded like he'd swallowed a squeaky toy)… Who is still darlin' by the way… I just missed sleeping… like at all! We also had 2 other babies full time. One who had just had surgery and was in pain. So I needed a vacation from my vacation! Came home and crashed for like 24 hours straight. So, I have decided I will gladly take dull and boring over the revolving door of drama! Love all the reviews, favs and alerts!I'm so sorry for the late chapter...

Chapter 14

"There's nothing to decide you dumb ass. You are not pit jumping without me. We do this." Dean growled; he hated feeling backed into a corner and he couldn't help feeling a little like everything was scheming to back him into the corner this time. "Together." He added just in case Sam needed clarification.

Sam said with a grin, "That's my boy."

Dean snorted as he gave him a slight shoulder nudge while he asked, "You ready to get this bitch started?"

Sam told him as he returned the nudge, _hug given, received and returned, "_I'm following you, remember?"

Dean smirked at Sam when he told him, "Just remember that in the future." and then he headed back to the group. He knew he was acting… _off_, but he couldn't help all the emotions swirling around in his head. A whirlwind of confusion swashing around his head like an out of control funnel cloud.

Sam started to follow only to freeze on the spot along with his smile as he thought, _How can I follow him when I plan on tricking him? Can I really leave him behind? I really need to_…

He hadn't realized he'd actually stopped until Dean also halted and turned to ask, "I thought you were following me?" Dean shook his head as he sarcastically added, "Talk about short term memory."

Sam smiled. Showing dimples and relieving some of Dean's stress instantly. _It had been a long time since he'd seen those dimples_.

Yoxe watched the young men walk back. The reason he could so readily believe everything was the things he had seen in his lifetime were… bizarre to say the least to "normal" people. He'd believed the angel about them because he'd dreamed about those boys himself. He'd known they were coming and that they needed his help. His father had appeared and told him it was time to help as well. He wasn't sure why they'd been through everything they had… what the reason was for all the pain that radiated off them in waves. Only that now he could help and he would. Whether it made sense or not didn't matter. Only that he followed what he'd been told and help the Winchesters. And that felt right.

"So." Dean said as they walked up, "What do you need from us to get us in that town when it reappears?"

Sam looked at Dean with a glare that clearly said he thought Dean was tactless.

Dean gave him a silent shrug in response.

Yoxe smiled as he said, "I like a person that gets right to the point. Before I decide anything you have to be cleansed."

Dean glared at the man before he snapped, "I bath _at least_ once a day!" Thinking silently, _asshole!_

Yoxe laughed and then stated, "Your soul, your mind and your heart as well as your body."

Which only caused Dean to look at him like he was a raving looney who had escaped from the bin.

Bobby finally stepped into the conversation as he told Dean, "The cleansing of the sweat lodge ceremony."

Sam looked excited as he asked, "We get to do that?"

Dean looked from Bobby to Sam as he snapped, "You're kidding?"

Yoxe stated firmly, "The only way you're getting into that town is with my help. The only way you get my help is by to complete your journey through the sweat lodge."

"I don't have time for this." Dean growled only to have Yoxe glare at him.

Yoxe sighed and looked up at the sky for a moment before looking back at the boys.

Bobby interrupted having remained silent for a few moments, "Fact is we are running out of time so how soon can we do this?"

Yoxe studied the boys and Bobby. He stood silent as he then looked out over the slightly waving hills of his tribe's land. "This will not be easy. The journey will be long and tiring."

"Welcome to our life." Dean butt in to say as he crossed his arms and watched Yoxe.

"D." Sammy said, sounding close to a whine.

"Sorry." Dean grudgingly stated looking at Sam as he said it.

Sam gave a small smile.

"We have to prepare tonight and tomorrow and we will begin the ceremony at dusk." Yoxe declared quietly.

"Ok. But what do we need to do?" Bobby asked again.

"Well, first I need to gather the herbs and things I need for the ceremony. My sons will get the wood gathered and the lodge readied. Let me show you the bunk house. You can take showers and relax for a little while before I come to explain some things to you."

After Yoxe had left them alone Dean looked at Bobby as he asked, "You think this will work?"

"I think it will have to." Sam popped in as he sat down his bag on the table and rummaged through it pulling out clothes. "I get the first shower." He added before walking into the bathroom and closing the door behind him. He quickly locked and leaned against it. He worried that the deceit he had planned would possibly block him from being cleansed and then what would he do? Then how would he fix everything he'd fucked up? What would Dean do if he had to pit jump? Dean had meant what he said, so this was his one shot at saving Dean.

Dean was staring after Sam with a confused expression on his face.

Bobby cleared his throat and smiled as he snarked, "What princess? You wanted the first shower?"

Dean didn't even react.

Bobby knew Dean was worried but it seemed the closer the time came to actually getting it done, the closer to the edge of panic Dean was.

"Dean. This is a spiritual cleansing. You have to take it seriously. You can't be…" Bobby started only to be interrupted by Dean.

"I get the gravity of it all, Bobby. I'm not a good person… what if it rejects me?" Dean asks softly, still not taking his eyes of the bathroom door as he sat down in a chair next to where Bobby stood watching him.

Bobby stared down at Dean a few seconds before he grabbed his arm and gave it a shake and once Dean was looking up at him he continued, "You are a good person. You've fucked up… _who hasn't_? But they know what's in your heart. Your intentions. All that shit."

Dean stared at Bobby a few seconds before giving him a slight grin as he muttered, "Awesome pep talk, dude."

Bobby popped him in the back of the head with his hat. Dean reached out and swiped Bobby's trucker's cap. At the pissed off look Bobby gave him he lurched out of his chair and danced away.

Dean laughed but stopped and paused as Yoxe appeared again in the doorway. Dean held out the hat and Bobby reached out and took it, placing it back on his head.

"We need to talk." Yoxe told them solulmly.

"Wait." Dean said in a panic.

Yoxe raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

"I'm sorry. I… I have…" He cleared his throat nervously, "when I'm nervous sometimes I'm an ass." Dean said as he stepped closer to Yoxe.

Sammy chose that moment to come out of the bathroom, rubbing his hair dry with the towel as he commented, "He really can't help himself… he is what he is."

"Yeah, I…" Dean started to agree then paused, "What? What does that mean?" Dean asked turning to glare at Sam.

Yoxe smiled before he told Dean, "I just want you to realize this is a very serious process for my people. It's needed to help us see certain things clearer and sometimes we even are given sacred visions. So please be open to this even though it is different from how you believe. Deal?"

Dean stared at Yoxe before he finally said, "Thank you for allowing us this chance. It's very important to us as well."

Yoxe studied Dean a few minutes before he returned to the door, "See you in the morning."

After he left Dean noticed the silence in the room, he turned to see both Bobby and Sam staring at him before he snapped, "What? I can be serious you know."

Bobby smiled but said nothing.

Sam tossed the towel at Dean as he stated, "You can but mostly you don't choose to." Sam knew what he was saying wasn't true._ Not anymore_. Dean hardly ever laughed and they hadn't had a prank war in years.

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

**DISCLAIMER: **Don't own any tiny fiber or lock of hair or anything… The big K has that privilege… so sad… but at least he's sweet enough to share, right?

**NOTE: **I have come to realize (I was told) that I have been in a depression and as much as I tried to deny it… I know deep down it's true… It's been true almost a year. A spiral that spun out of my control, I'm trying to reel it back in now. I had bouts before but this one has… well, never mind… I just owe everyone an apology. Especially V, she has waited with the patience of a Saint! I'm so sorry for the posts being all sporadic…I write a rough draft of the whole story in the beginning and then before each post I go over it and edit it several times until I'm satisfied chapter by chapter at posting. Sometimes it has very few changes and sometimes I end up adding 2 pages… So when I say the story is done. Technically it is. Roughly. But I guess you can say I polish it a chapter at a time. I really really do appreciate you all sticking by me. Thank you very much for reading, reviewing, faving and alerting. Now for the reason you all are here…

Chapter 15

Dean watched Sam as he smiled and then laughed at something Bobby said. As if nothing life threatening was going on… Sam caught the look and gave him a smile as well. Dean looked away causing Sam to frown. He couldn't do it, something so innocent and simple, not even for Sammy. Not right now at least he couldn't. The closer the time came for the showdown the closer he felt to the panic eating away at his gut. He felt that someone should be able to hear his heart pounding… and why the hell couldn't anyone else hear it? He sat through the night, thinking about all they had done. For each other and to each other. At times they had been far from kind. But through it all they remained brothers. He watched Bobby fall asleep and then Sammy as he sat, not able to close his eyes without seeing Sammy pit jump. So he sat awake, quiet and still; and waited…

Dean was sure that someone had suddenly sped up the clock. Maybe a trickster had slipped in because suddenly it was morning. Then noon. The day spun away in a matter of minutes it seemed to Dean. One minute he was talking to Yoxe and the next… they were standing in front of the lodge in just a pair of shorts. The old _I don't do shorts_ dying on his lips as it was clear he _was_ doing shorts. Obviously he was awesome in anything... his mind broke off from that line of thinking as he took in his surroundings.

Two men were standing on each side of the door, looking as if they were guards.

Yoxe cleared his throat as he told them, "These are my sons Frost and River. They will protect the ceremony and assist us when needed. My son Crane will be our Firekeeper. He is waiting just inside the door. The Sweat Lodge is a place of spiritual refuge and mental as well as physical healing, a place to get your answers and guidance by asking spirits for that guidance… the Creator and Mother Earth for the needed wisdom and power."

Dean said nervously, "I don't think spirits will want to help us. What if..." His question dying on his lips before being fully voiced aloud.

Yoxe smiled, "Ours won't hold it against you. They may try to reform you though."

Dean's eyebrows shot up but he remained silent. _Reform_… echoed in his head… _could someone like him be reformed? He kinda doubted it. _He started chewing his thumbnail. A habit that was a sure sign he was worried. Sam glanced at him on his way to looking where Yoxe was pointing but his eyes shot back to Dean as it registered Dean's nervous gesture. The tidal wave of worry radiated from his very pores. Sam gave him a sad little smile which Dean caught as he glanced up to locate the eyes he felt on him. He gave a slight grin in return and dropped his hand away as he again focused on Yoxe.

Sam on the other hand was worried about not being aloud to go through with the ceremony because he was basically out right lying to his only big brother. One of only two remaining family members he had left. He wanted to keep both of them and if this is what it took... well, so be it. He was okay with it. Didn't mean he couldn't worry about it, right?

"The entrance to the sweat lodge faces to the East and the sacred fire pit. Each new day for all begins in the East with the rising of Father Sun. It is the source of life… the dawn of wisdom each day. The fire heating the rocks is the undying light of the world… eternity and it is a new spiritual beginning that we seek in the sweat ceremony. Does this make sense to you?" Yoxe asked looking at all three in turn.

Sam nodded immediately following closely by Bobby. Dean was staring unblinking at Yoxe.

Yoxe turned to take a burning mini log of something from Frost who had just came from an alter between the fire and where they stood by the door.

Dean's eyes watered as he asked, "What the hel… what is that?" He asked as his nose scrunched at the smell as he tried to recall where he'd smelt that particular affront to his senses in the past.

"Sage." Crane commented before he continued, "We have to smudge you before you may enter."

"Smudge me? Why?" Dean asked, moving away from the smoldering sage headed his way.

"Boy." Bobby said sternly with a jerk to his head no.

Dean stopped immediately and waited for the sage to move his direction once again. _Damn… dang it... He didn't like the smell, never had. He remembered John cleansing a house with it. In fact he was pretty sure they'd smelt it at Missouri's house. Hell, he'd used it himself. His brain seemed to be on vacation. He was rattled. He needed to stop and… Sam said it smelt good. Well, okay… can't think… Sammy's damn nose was broken was all he had to say… think on the matter. _He knew his thoughts were a jumbled mess so he just went blank and with a smirk to himself he returned his attention to being smudged.

After they were smudged they moved into the dark lodge, lit only by the doorway.

Just inside the door a pipe was lit. Yoxe informed them it was a chanunpa. Which Sam cheerfully supplied meant peace pipe. Still the geek, Dean noted in his head.

After a quick prayer from Yoxe he told them to crawl sun-wise around the fire pit and then sit cross-legged around the ring.

When they were all seated. Yoxe, Dean and Sammy. Yoxe called out, "Doorkeeper… close the flap." The lodge immediately plunged into darkness and at this point Yoxe announces that all are free to leave the lodge at any time if they cannot endure. If you must leave, speak out "Mitakuye Oyasin."

To which Sammy whispered to Dean, "I think it means, "All my relatives."

Yoxe smiled in the darkness, Sam had been right, that was what it meant. He continued, "I will move so you can leave." After the brief silence Yoxe asks them to pray silently and moves away. The flap is raised, and he calls upon the fire tender to bring in the heated stones from the sacred fire.

Bobby watches as one of the sons pulls rocks from the fire and they are swept clean with a pine bough to remove smoking embers which would cause discomfort in the lodge. One at a time he takes them in and they are placed in the shallow pit inside the sweat lodge, placing first the stone on the west, then one north, east, south, and in the center to Grandfather. Additional stones are then placed to Grandmother and The People. He then goes silently back to the entrance where it is closed and sealed by the Sweat Lodge Keeper, the other brother.

Aglow with the luminance of the red hot stones, the ceremony begins in the lodge. Yoxe sounds a drum and calls forth the spirit guides in prayer from the Four Directions. Yoxe then dips water and pours it onto the hot stones in the pit, producing large amounts of steam… one dipper at a time until he is told by the spirits to stop. After that he begins to pray, sometimes chanting. Dean tried to see what Sammy thought of what was happening. But all he could really see was an outline of Sam's body.

Yoxe began to chant…

"Grandfather, Mysterious One, We search for you along this Great Red Road you have set us on…"

Dean tried to see Yoxe. _Did he believe this? _

Yoxe continued unaware of Dean's confusion. "We thank you for this world. We thank you for our own existence. We ask only for your blessing and for your instruction."

Dean realized that sweat was rolling down his forehead and swiped at it as Yoxe continued, "Grandfather, Sacred One, Put our feet on the holy path that leads to you, and give us the strength and the will to lead ourselves and our children past the darkness we have entered. Teach us to heal ourselves, to heal each other and to heal the world."

Sammy cleared his throat causing Dean to reach out and find his arm, giving it a squeeze. He felt Sammy return the gesture.

Yoxe finished with, " Let us begin this very day, this very hour, the Great Healing to come. Let us walk the Red Road in Peace."

In the silence Dean could hear the breathing of Sam and Yoxe as well as the guy by the door. He was a little worried about what would happen if he was rejected by them. He couldn't let Sam go in alone.

Dean was shocked when he heard a soft, "But he must. You must allow him that. Only then will you be given the chance to save him."

Dean jumped as he whispered, "Mom?"

She suddenly appeared in front of him, reaching down, her hand brushed his cheek. He jumped and looked frantically at the others. They sat with eyes closed and as if they couldn't hear his mother. She rubbed his cheek again bringing his focus back to her.

She glanced at Sam and then placed a finger to her lips as she motioned for him to follow her. He tried to see the others and then stood, in the blink of an eye he was outside with his mother. The sun was shining and they were standing next to a bubbling creek.

"Dean," she began her expression serious. "I know you're hurt and angry."

Dean started to protest.

She held up her hand to silence him, "Dean… I know that as well as the betrayal you feel at the hands of your brother. But I know you will never forgive him or yourself for what he thinks as his only option to save you and the world."

Dean paled as he whispered, "What?"

"Dean, you boys have to stop sacrificing yourselves for the other." His mother told him softly, gently reaching out to touch his arm.

"What? We have. We're doing this together." Dean argued back.

She stared silently at him as she waited for it to sink in.

When it did the anger was explosive as he cussed and kicked at the ground. He kinda felt maybe Sam was planning something but he wasn't sure. At least he tried to tell himself that.

"Dean. You must listen I don't have a lot of time." His mother interrupted his tirade with a tone that splashed fear over him and silenced his tirade but not the bubbling rage.

"When? When he going to betray me this time?" Dean demanded.

Tears sprang to her eyes as she whispered, "He's trying to save you while still paying for his sins, just like before."

Dean shook his head in denial.

"Son, look past the hurt you feel." She ordered quietly.

Dean closed his eyes and took in measured breaths as he tried to control his anger. When he calmed down slightly he once again opened his eyes. His mother was gone. "Mom?" he spun around seeing nothing of his mother he stopped once again to face the brook.

He heard a deep, "Hello, son." coming from behind him.

Dean spun around to face his dad. "Dad?" his surprise soaked voice managed to squeak out.

John smiled broadly as he gave a slight nod.

"How?" Dean moved up from a squeak to a hoarse whisper.

"I don't know. Now…" John started only to be interrupted by a confused son full of questions.

"Dad, where have you been? Are you… I mean did you…" Dean rattled as he tried to calm his thoughts enough for a clear thought.

"Dean." John held up his hand. Dean stilled instantly and waited.

"You have to trust your instincts." John stated firmly.

"What? How is that…" Dean started once again to interrupt.

"Dean." John snapped.

"Dean…" a different voice echoed in.

"Dean… listen. This is important." John said stepping closer and reached out to grab his son by his upper arms.

"Dean!" a voice Dean's mind registered instantly as belonging to his little brother was his _I'm kinda about freak here dude_ tone.

Dean turned in a circle looking for Sammy.

"Dean!" John snapped causing Dean to focus on him again.

"What? Do you not hear Sammy?" Dean asked John, tilting his head to listen as he stared at his father.

"Dean. Listen. You must not…" John tried to tell him, giving him a shake to get his attention.

"DEAN!" Sammy voice was almost frantic sounding the second time and had Dean spinning away from John to look for Sammy. Suddenly everything was spinning and he was free falling through the ground and into darkness. He jerked as he tried to grab at anything to stop himself from falling even further.

TBC

**TiNYNote#1: **The sweat lodge ceremony is based mainly on the Osage ceremony. I used different things from different tribes. Used info on the Osage Indians as they are considered "sister tribes" or at least that is my understanding. I was unable to find a lot on the Kaw tribe ceremonies. I did change a few things but it is as much like a sweat ceremony I was able to find in my research. Sweat ceremonies are usually done in stages… as many as four sessions lasting 30 to 45 minutes at a time. For the purpose of my story I only used one session. So I apology if it incorrect for the Kaw nation. I do find the Kaw nation fascinating to read about and again I mean no disrespect.

**TINyNOTE#2: **"Mitakuye Oyasin," means "All my relatives." in Kaw.


	16. Chapter 16

**DISCLAIMER: **Don't own the awesomeness that is the Winchester World but love, love love to steal these little buggers from the Kripke sandbox (BTW I have been spelling his name wrong for months, thanks for not being mean to me for that little brain fart)… what an delightful imagination he has… (and the wonderful writing team, crew, actors, fans… um did I forget anyone?)

**NOTE: Wow, snakes get big here! **There was a 6 and a half foot long black rat snake in the henhouse… it's apparently been getting fat on eggs for awhile… Who knew my mom in law could run that damn fast! LOL Hubby took care of it cause he's awesome! Guys I really appreciate you all sticking with me on this! So on to the reason we are all gathered here today… (Smile)

Chapter 16

"Dean." The tone sounded like an order. Like _wake the hell up right now_ kind of tone. Instead Dean grabbed at his head as he tried to turn away from the sound that seemed determined to split his head into a thousand tiny shards. _Should his name even echo like that? Where was he, a cave?_

"Dean." A voice whispered as if the owner realized the damage the first time around had inflicted. He felt a hand on his arm and something touching his cheek which caused him to moan softly while he tried to open his eyes. He once again moved away from the sound before it registered in his sludge filled brain who it was. He told himself he didn't care as long as they didn't talk again.

"Easy, D. Just lay there a minute." Sam told him softly. He felt his brother place a hand on his chest holding him firmly in place while the other hand continued to mess with him.

_Oh, Sammy… well he guessed he did care then. Sammy was why he was here and why… _he interrupted his thoughts with a stuttered… "Wh… what the hell?" he huffed out as he grabbed at the thing touching his face. _A soggy piece of…_ "Ugh!" He managed to spit out.

"Easy, it's just a cool rag." Sammy replied as he held the rag out of Dean's reach, then letting him catch it as he swatted in the general direction of Sam to verify what his brat of a brother had told him.

"What…" Dean repeated in a whisper, his brain desperately trying to catch up with where he was and what was happening as he tried once again to open his eyes.

"You passed out. Almost landed in the fire." Sam took a deep breath before he admitted, "You scared the hell out of me."

"Sorry…" Dean said just as softly when he finally managed to open one eye to get a glimpse of Sam.

"Man, just don't…" Sam started only to stop himself and sit still as a statue, not moving a muscle. _He was not going to cry like a baby. Not when Dean was here… alive_.

Dean waited for Sam to finish and when he didn't continue he asked hoarsely, "Don't what?"

Sam jerked slightly before he huffed looking down at the rag he was suddenly twisting into a knot causing water to drip onto Dean. He managed to answer his brother in a fairly deceptive calm outer voice, "Just don't die on me man." Meanwhile his mind was rioting for a hold onto his roller coaster of emotional outbursts of what coulda, woulda and mighta happened. _Thank God all that came out was the one sentence. _He gave Dean a sad little smile.

Dean closed his eyes and struggled to breathe, wanting desperately at that moment to yell at Sam that he knew what _he _had planned. Scream at him that _he planned on doing just that to Dean… dying and leaving him to face the world alone. Look how well that turned out for them last time. Last time, _he almost snorted aloud_… it was honestly every time they tried to do things solo. It ended as a colossal fuckup. _A few seconds later he realized Sam was shaking him and he opened his eyes to stare at his little brother. "What?" he snapped because _**damn it**_… _it wasn't fair. This tug of war just to keep his brother. Why couldn't they just be brothers? He'd bet the rest of the world didn't struggle like they had to just to… to… __**live**__._

"_Stop that." _Sam demanded, his worry blending into anger. "Or I will call the whole thing off. If you're not a hundred percent you're not going."

"You're not the boss of me." Dean growled trying to sit up and swaying precariously close to taking a header over the side of the bed. **_AND_**, _if he didn't quit threatening him with that… he was going to strangle the little… enormous brat!_

"Well…" Sam huffed again before he retorted childishly, "you're not the boss of me either so there!" slapping the wet rag to Dean's bare chest.

"I **am** the boss of you…" Dean growled as he looked down at the rag with a slight smirk… _the big girl. Slapping him like that… really_… "I have been your whole life… you'd think you'd be used to it by now and know that I always have your best interest…" Dean's stopped his own tirade before adding waspishly, "What are you two?" as he fell back onto the bed and petulantly closed his eyes.

"No… go to sleep." Sammy ordered, dropping the subject as a no win discussion. He had a long lists of those. _Number 11 being this discussion right here, The Who's the Boss… _he sighed. _Numbers one through ten were Dad related and had no bearing on this particular argument but he could use Dean's Big Bother Knows Best statement number 12 against him_, "You'll feel better when you wake up."

"I was asleep. You woke me up." Dean pointed out slight crankily with a pinch of whiny thrown in as he glared at Sam.

"No you were unconscious and now that I know you're okay. You can sleep." Sam told him with his puppy dog eyes staring him down.

Dean groaned and hissed out, "Fine…" _Because really... going up against the puppy eyed freak was a lost cause (only cause he wasn't really up for the battle) __**but**__ it didn't mean he couldn't get one last jab in, _so he added under his breath, "For such a gigantic pain in my ass you sure are a big baby."

"Sticks and stones brother… sticks and stones." Sam said with a chuckle. He realized that he seemed to be the one who lately reverted back to the staples like the lists when he was really and truly stressed. _It just seemed they had no way out. Someone was going to go down with the devil and this time… __**this time it wouldn't be Dean.**_

Sam waited until Dean was once again asleep and then went to the door and eased it open, sliding out through the narrow opening he leaned against the door frame. Keeping the door open so he could hear Dean if he needed him he looked back in at his big brother sleeping. He hadn't been kidding when Dean had pitched forward, doing nothing to stop himself from landing in the fire… _he'd freaked._

Bobby looked up from his chair and studied Sam as he stared back towards where he'd left Dean, "Well?"

He sighed before focusing on Bobby, "He's dehydrated… but I think he'll be fine in a few hours." Sam told the closest thing to a father they had left in the world.

"Isn't that what I told you an hour ago?" Bobby asked with a hint of a smile as he watched Sam shrug as he stuffed his hands in his front pockets and stared at his feet.

Bobby chuckled at the look on Sam's face. _College Sam was presenting himself. He was sure Sam was unaware of this little tell. This I'm on the panic rope and about to leap into a vat of Oh shit._

Sam looked up at Bobby and told him, "I gotta make this right. I can't have him doing this to himself… not…"

Bobby waited but when Sam remained silent he prodded with, "Not what?"

Sam huffed before he snapped, "Not over me."

"Ya idjit." Bobby growled but fell silent when he heard Dean say from the doorway, "What _exactly_ do you think I'm doing?"

Sam turned and grabbed Dean trying to lead him over to a chair beside Bobby.

Dean in turn started swatting at Sam's hands and growled, "Quit being so grabby. I walked out here all by myself."

"Yeah cause you're a dumb ass." Sam grumbled and had to content himself with making sure Dean was sitting down.

"I am not!" Dean snapped indignantly.

Sam chose to ignore him rather than argue and changed the subject, "You drink that water I left for you on the night stand?"

Dean gave him a look that suggested a smart ass remark was on it's way after opening his mouth he grunted before he settled instead for, "yeah."

"All of it?" Sammy asked for clarification.

"Shut up, Sammy." Dean growled testily.

Sam grinned and was about to respond when Dean cut him off, "Hey, go into town and get me a cheeseburger, extra onions. Maybe large fries…" He paused before he added, "make it two. I'm hungry."

"Dean." Sam said, an argumentative tone present and accounted for.

One of Yoxe sons popped in as he walked up on the conversation, "There's a gas station, with a Dairy Queen next to it. It's not too far. I'll take you."

Sam looked worriedly at Bobby, before sneaking a glance at Dean who was watching him.

"Go, before I starve and take Bobby with you, buy him a happy meal or something." He snickered at Bobby's snort. Making sure he added, "Make sure he gets his toy. You know how cranky he gets when they don't give him one."

"Ya idgit." Bobby said standing. _He wasn't sure what Dean was up to, but he'd tag along for the moment_, "That's Burger king, not DQ."

"Actually I think it's McDonald's." Sam chimed in as he narrowed his eyes while studying Dean. _Now, what was he up to? He wanted Sam out of his way for a bit, but why?_

Dean laughed, startling both Bobby and Sam. "GO, I'm starving."

A look exchanged between Sam and Bobby before Sam gave Dean a slight nod and moved to go.

"I'll be right here on the porch waiting for you and if not I give your full permission to kick my ass." Dean told him with a smirk. He tried his best to look innocent. Therefore he generated a automatic guilty look.

Sam studied Dean before he shook his head. Dean obviously thought he was pulling one over on them as he murmured loud enough for Dean's ears only, "jerk."

"bitch." Dean's response was quick and no longer required the thought that it did after… _well after_… he hadn't been able to stop himself from holding back that endearment to hurt his little brother. He was glad he could return it to the floppy haired kid. _Where it belonged all along._

**TBC**

**TInyNote: **Thanks for all the reviews favs and alerts! Also… I've always wanted to expand on the Lists… I wrote a long time ago. This is me throwing that in… Smiles… Toodles…


	17. Chapter 17

**NOTE#1: Okay, where do I begin? **You don't want to hear my soap opera of a life but I want to let you know that I haven't forgotten about you or this story. I had a bout of depression over the latest… Lupus. I will be seeing the doc soon and will know more. I apparently can't go out in the sun without making my rash worse… yes it's still here, still not contagious and apparently a sign of Lupus… who knew? Anyway, I wanted to get this chap posted for my ever patient V. and everyone else that has continued to read my stuff. This has been the first story that life has kept me from posting on a "normal" schedule…

**DISCLAIMER: Not mine. (sob) **I do love to grab and run. But I always return and stumble away… fighting the urge to turn right back around and stuff them right back into another story… smiles lovelies…

I don't feel this is quite perfect but I do think you've waited long enough... Here we go!

Chapter 17

Dean watched as Sam, Bobby and one of Yoxe's sons walked away. _Crane_… _maybe… _he thought randomly_. _He smiled as Sam looked back nervously and stopped. He gave a little_ go on _wave to get Sam moving again_. _

After they finally pulled away Dean sighed as he rambled away from the bunkhouse to the main house. He felt like he needed to do this. This would be his ace in the hole. He leaned against the impala as he contemplated what his moves would be to fix this mess and still save his pain in the ass bitch of a little brother when it was all said and done. He wanted his tools honed… his brother unsuspecting. His plan turned into his finely tuned weapon before going in. _He knew Sam_. Sam would have every thing planned out. Down to the last detail. His just had to be better. Cause this was one fight he didn't plan on losing. Okay so he'd had some… less than perfect moments over the last several years. He'd felt like giving up… even walked out on Sam. But he was done… _they were done with that_. Now it was together… win, lose or die.

He waited for Yoxe to make it across the field he was walking in from as he counted the ways he was going to beat Sam's ass once he was safe. _For a genius he was really a stupid little shit_… he kinda chuckled as he thought, if anyone else talked about Sam the way he _thought _about him, he would break them into little pieces.

"Yoxe, I need to talk to you. You got a minute?" Dean asked nervously as the man got even with Dean's baby. He needed Yoxe's… _participation_.

"Sure, what's on your mind, cowboy?" Yoxe said easily. He studied Dean as he waited for him to talk.

"Cowboy?" Dean mimicked, confused. His mind couldn't form around that reference with all the other shit swirling around up there.

"Never mind." Yoxe replied with an effortless grin as he sat down the bucket of tools he was carrying. Dusting his hands off he stood and waited.

"Okay." Dean murmured, rubbing at his lips. "I need you to do something for me."

Yoxe tilted his head in question as an eyebrow raised. _This should be interesting_.

"I need you to tell Sam that I can't go into the town, that I'm…" He cleared his throat before blurting out, "That the spirits rejected me…"

"Why the lie?" Yoxe asked, facinated in how the kid's mind worked.

Dean bit his lip as he looked around, sighing he straightened up off his silent support… his baby was a comfort even when she wasn't running. He'd like to think she knew how much reassurance she brought the Winchesters over the years _especially him_. He rubbed absentmindedly at a smudge on her.

Yoxe continued to look mildly interested as he waited while the boy collect his thoughts.

"I can't save him other wise." Dean finally stated bluntly.

Yoxe frowned before he said softly, "Maybe it is not your job to do, maybe your brother…"

"Maybe my brother thinks this is the only way to pay for his sins… is to stay in that town with the devil." Dean countered in frustration.

"Then who are you to stop…" Yoxe started to ask.

"If it was your son?" Dean demanded angrily. _This was not how he pictured the conversation going._

"What?" Yoxe asked, stunned. Maybe these kids were closer than he first thought.

"If it was your son… would you "let" him?" Dean snapped, his body coiling tightly.

"Dean." Yoxe started to reply.

"_**NO**__, Look_… I raised him. I left him alone when he needed me the most so I need to fix this. This is my mess." He sighed deeply before repeating, "I need to fix this. Now either you can help me or get the hell out of my way." Dean stated firmly as he dropped a hand to touch his baby again before he walked over to the fence rail.

"But…" Yoxe began.

"Yes or no is all I need from you." Dean snapped uncompromisingly . _Damn, he'd poured his soul out to the guy and he got nothing for it._

Yoxe shook his head as he commented, "You are one crazy…"

Dean grinned and couldn't help the sigh of relief that escaped. He'd won this round, "I'll take that as a yes." _Now if only winning Sammy was as easy… yeah… like that would happen. Easy wasn't a normal in their world._

"Yes. But I still don't understand why you think you need to lie to him." Yoxe said with a hint of confusion still laced in his voice.

"Because I know him. He will be less cautious if he thinks there's no way I'll be able to follow him into that town." Dean turned from the railing to face Yoxe. "So it's gotta be believable. I mean he knows me, he won't…"

"Believe it if you aren't ready to kill… probably fightin' mad?" Yoxe interrupted, getting the meaning of Dean's last words.

Dean grinned. He nodded as he added, "I'll go easy on you."

Yoxe snorted. They fell into silence until they saw the truck coming back down the road.

Yoxe commented, "You ready to do this? You sure this is the path you must take?"

Dean smiled and gave a slight nod. "I'm sure." He said softly.

Yoxe said with a smile when they both could make out the faces in the truck, "Make it look good."

Dean gave a slight shrug and a bigger grin as he hauled back and hit Yoxe and then he stomped away, jumping the fence and stalked away. He'd held back on the punch but Sam wouldn't have been able to tell from the distance he'd been from them.

"What the hell?" Sam snapped, still in the truck.

"Now, boy… don't…" Bobby started.

Yoxe's son Crane put the truck into park.

Sam barely waited for the truck to come to a full stop before he slammed the door open and jumped out.

"… go off half cocked… _igits_…." Bobby finished to the quickly moving back of Sam.

Sam didn't bother to shut the door as he raced over to the impala. Yoxe was leaning against her as he watched Dean storm across the field. The kid had a powerful punch. He was glad the kid held back on it otherwise he'd be being picked up off the ground by his son.

"Yoxe, what did you say to him?" Sam yelled, pissed off. He was really mad at himself for leaving Dean. Dean could find trouble in a paper bag. _He knew that. He followed Dean around his whole life except for the Stafford years and yet even knowing Dean was up to something he'd left. The one thing he kept doing. Leaving when Dean needed him. SHIT! _A little voice whispered_, And you think what you're planning… leaving permanently is the answer… hum…_

"Ask him." Yoxe ordered. Playing his part to perfection.

Sam growled and chased after his brother, seeing him hit Yoxe in the face and storm off across the open fields had him worried about what was going on in his big brother's head.

"Dean, what the hell is wrong with you?" Sam asked worriedly when he got close enough to not have to yell to be heard.

Dean said as he continued to stomp away, "Not now, Sammy."

"When then Dean because we're going to be a little busy tomorrow. So tell me when…" Sam snapped as he chased after Dean.

Dean growled as he swirled around to face him, mask in place, "That's just it… _we_ won't be busy." his hand moved from Sam's direction to his own chest.

"What?" Sam asked his heart starting to pound.

"Apparently my soul wasn't…" His face scrunched up as he put on the performance of his life, "_pure _enough for his ancestors. I can't go in." Dean looked at the ground after he made sure that Sam saw his "_tears of frustration_." He hitched a breath making sure he strangled off a sound close enough to a sob to get Sam's attention.

"Oh." Sam said softly, but honestly he was deeply relieved. He didn't have to figure out a way to get Dean out while staying behind. He stepped forward and placed a hand on Dean's shoulder, "Dean I won't screw this up…" Heaied until Dean looked up. Sam looked him straight in the eye as he said softly, "I'm doing this for you."

Dean choked on his "pretend" tears, _yeah he knew that already_. He knew he was sacrificing himself to get back in the good graces of his ass of a brother.

"Dean… _I will do this_. I will save _you_ this time." Sam told him earnestly.

"I'm not worried about me, you shit." Dean snapped.

Sam smiled as he said calmly, "I know Dean."

"_Sammy…" _Dean almost gave everything up right then and there.

"It's okay, Dean. I'll do it. You do what needs to be done on the outside… I'll take care of catching the devil by his horns. We'll always be a team. We've done this before…"

"Sam." Dean interrupted.

"Look, Dean I know why you let me come back and I…" Sammy rushed on, wanted to get some things said before he ran out of time.

"Shut up." Dean snarled.

"Dean I need to…" Sam tried again.

"No, I don't want to hear another I'm sorry, okay." Dean bit out as he ran a hand through his hair. Clearly frustrated. Clearly _done_ with the conversation.

Sammy nodded, turning away. _He'd pushed Dean too far. He'd been selfish to want to get things off his chest_.

Dean grabbed his arm and yanked him back around. When Sam looked at him startled he told him, "I never should have treated you the way I did and I never said I'm sorry… " Another hand went through Dean's hair, "I…"

"Dean I deserve all that and more." Sam butted in to tell him.

"No you don't. You were trying to fix what was broken a long time ago, you were lied to and manipulated. Hell, they played us both and we let them."

"I know." Sam said softly, "I never…"

"Sam." Dean said in a warning tone, "We're done getting fucked. We control our destiny. No one else."

"Yeah cause that worked out so well for us before." Sam sarcastically muttered.

Dean let that one go. As he reached up and popped Sammy in the back of the head he changed the subject, "Let's go eat. I'm freakin' starving."

Sam shook his head as he smiled, he really wished everything could be fixed with a simple "I'm sorry" but unfortunately he knew better. He also knew that Dean knew better, hell he's the one that laid it all out for him.

TBC


End file.
